Holiday Bucket List on a Budget

Around the holidays, there are so many fun activities to do with the family. This season, our budget is tighter than before to spend on special events and outings. I know many families are in similar positions as well. To help us all out, I've created a holiday bucket list of 13 activities to do for free or just a few dollars. I'm so looking forward to doing each one with M2 and B so that we can create all kinds of awesome holiday memories together!

For simple tips on how to save on holiday spending, check out this post.

1. Christmas lights
Even if Clark Griswold  doesn't live in your neighborhood, nothing says, "Christmas" like driving around admiring all the lights. It's a great time to sing carols with the family and spend time unplugged from technology simply enjoying the season.

2. Christmas festivals, craft fairs and tree lightings
Many towns and cities have tree lightings the first week of December. Everyone gathers together to watch the town Christmas tree and decorations be lit. Christmas festivals and craft fairs are also plentiful this time of year. Even if you don't buy anything at craft festivals, it's fun to wander to see the different gourmet foods and handicrafts people are selling. Our area is no exception. Over the next few weeks, there is lighting event after lighting event. Parades, Santa, lights, hot chocolate, mittens, scarves, oh my! A few of the local churches are having bazaars I want to hit, too. Last year we missed them all so I can't wait to finally take M2 and B to have some fun!!

3. Walk the mall
I love all the decorations that go up at the mall each year. Walking around to see them all then stopping by to see Santa is a favorite of mine. It also burns some calories so I can sneak in a couple gingersnaps when we get home along with a cup of hot tea.

4. Decorate the house
This year, decorating is going to be interesting. With a toddler and a baby on the prowl to destroy anything they can touch, I'm going to have to put everything up high or not put it out at all. Our tree is going to go up later than usual because I'm not looking forward to worrying about it crashing down! As for outside, we have a larger-than-ever light set up planned. I stocked up on clearance lights last year after the holidays so we an add more to our display.

5. Take a nature walk
The outdoors are beautiful this time of year, despite the cold. When there is snow on the ground it's even more breath taking. We'll be doing family walks to enjoy it all!

6. Watch Christmas movies
It's no secret that I have a good-sized collection of Christmas movies, from the holiday black-and-white classics like It's a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street to National Lampoon's Christmas, Home Alone, The Santa Clause, Rudolph and Frosty, we'll be watching them all. Come Christmas, we'll have an A Christmas Story Movie marathon. It's a family tradition (and one of M2's and my favorite movies)!

7. Walk Through Holiday Light Display
A park near us has a light display each year that you can walk through at night. We've never been. This year, that's going to change!

8. Crafts, crafts and more crafts
I'm planning to make: Two wreaths for our door, one with ornaments one with bells. Painted and salt dough ornaments. A felt Santa. A felt Christmas tree. Hand print decorations. Plus, anything else I can think up!

9. Holiday baking
My holiday baking list has been in the works for about a month. I've already started on the gingersnaps and a new cookie recipe I've created. Next up are peanut butter blossoms, chocolate cookies, sugar cookies using my family's secret recipe, gingerbread Colonial Williamsburg style and ricotta cookies. Yum! They'll get packaged up and given out as gifts to friends, family, mail carriers and more this season.

10. Christmas music
The whole family loves music in our house. We usually have Pandora going. During the holidays, Christmas songs take top priority. Carols delight our ears and get us into the Christmas spirit daily all through Christmas.

11. Ugly sweater shopping
I've already seen so many ugly Christmas sweaters at different stores. While we're out, I'm going to be wandering around to scout out the absolute worst one I can find, while being thoroughly amused as I go! No, I won't be buying one -- just admiring the garish holiday attire.

12. Hot cocoa, cookies and board games
Game nights with A are something I want to start doing. What better time to start than now? Throw in some hot chocolate and homemade cookies and the nights get even sweeter!

13. Library time
The local library has special holiday story times and activities we plan to take M2 and B to this year. Totally free and fun!

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Happy Thanksgiving!

To spend more time with family and friends who are visiting from out of town, I'm taking this week off from the blog. You'll still see me some on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram so be sure to follow me there (I'm such a social media addict). Before I go, I want to share a special Thanksgiving post with you.

Last year on Thanksgiving, I was still pregnant with baby B and my mother was in town to celebrate with us. Measuring 4 weeks ahead, I was huge. Baby B is approaching his first birthday rapidly. I can't believe how fast the time has gone. The year before, we spent the holiday with A's family out of state. Usually, we don't travel for Thanksgiving. I'm glad we did that year. We didn't know at the time, but would be the last time we'd see his mother. She passed away soon after from cancer. Three years ago, I was pregnant with M2. Five years ago, A and I were celebrating our first Thanksgiving as a married couple with his brothers. Over 15 years ago, Thanksgiving would be the last time I saw my aunt before she passed away in December. My parents, sister and I enjoyed turkey and all the fixing with extended family as my aunt was too sick to leave her bed. My grandmother was born around Thanksgiving as well. So many things have happened around Thanksgiving for our family, including those special last memories of loved ones. It's a time of both celebration and remembrance for me. I give thanks for my family, friends and for all those who have touched my life. All leave a footprint on my heart.

This year, so much has changed for my family. I give thanks for having a diagnosis for M2. For getting through despite new financial strain. For all the progress that's been made in getting her help. For baby B growing so big and strong. For 5 years of marriage to A. For our home and all the other many blessings we have.

So much has changed in the world as well. We face uncertain times in our country and across the globe. I am thankful for all the military personnel, many of whom won't be home with their own families for the holiday, who fight to protect us all.

As for you, my dear readers, I wish you all a wonderful holiday with friends and family. I wish you a day of peace and celebration for all which you are grateful. I am thankful for you all.

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Happy Thanksgiving!

To spend more time with family and friends who are visiting from out of town, I'm taking this week off from the blog. You'll still see me some on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram so be sure to follow me there (I'm such a social media addict). Before I go, I want to share a special Thanksgiving post with you.

Last year on Thanksgiving, I was still pregnant with baby B and my mother was in town to celebrate with us. Measuring 4 weeks ahead, I was huge. Baby B is approaching his first birthday rapidly. I can't believe how fast the time has gone. The year before, we spent the holiday with A's family out of state. Usually, we don't travel for Thanksgiving. I'm glad we did that year. We didn't know at the time, but would be the last time we'd see his mother. She passed away soon after from cancer. Three years ago, I was pregnant with M2. Five years ago, A and I were celebrating our first Thanksgiving as a married couple with his brothers. Over 15 years ago, Thanksgiving would be the last time I saw my aunt before she passed away in December. My parents, sister and I enjoyed turkey and all the fixing with extended family as my aunt was too sick to leave her bed. My grandmother was born around Thanksgiving as well. So many things have happened around Thanksgiving for our family, including those special last memories of loved ones. It's a time of both celebration and remembrance for me. I give thanks for my family, friends and for all those who have touched my life. All leave a footprint on my heart.

This year, so much has changed for my family. I give thanks for having a diagnosis for M2. For getting through despite new financial strain. For all the progress that's been made in getting her help. For baby B growing so big and strong. For 5 years of marriage to A. For our home and all the other many blessings we have.

So much has changed in the world as well. We face uncertain times in our country and across the globe. I am thankful for all the military personnel, many of whom won't be home with their own families for the holiday, who fight to protect us all.

As for you, my dear readers, I wish you all a wonderful holiday with friends and family. I wish you a day of peace and celebration for all which you are grateful. I am thankful for you all.

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17 Tips to Avoid Holiday Overspending Regret

Holiday shopping is here again. The wondrous time of year when your wallet takes a big hit and your budget is be blown if you're not careful with holiday spending. For us this year, finances are tighter than ever before so I have to be even more aware of what is being spent. Being a savvy shopper can mean the difference between paying the mortgage and putting food on the table come January or sitting there on New Year's Day saying, "What have I done??" while looking at a mound of credit card bills. Here are 17 easy tips to help you avoid Holiday Overspending Regret Syndrome come the new year. In case you haven't seen it already, check out my Holiday Gift Guide for Kids that is all items $20 and under. It'll help you stay on budget this year, too.

1. Check your budget and savings. 
Take a look at the budget you set earlier this year. (If you didn't set one, here are 7 simple steps so you can next year.) What did you set aside for the holidays, for gifts, food (for any parties, baking and the actual day) decorations, activities, etc.? That's the amount you'll have to start from. If you didn't set a budget, what do you have in savings that you can afford to put toward the holidays?

2. Set a limit for holiday spending, including gifts, stocking stuffers, food, decorations, activities, donations and anything else you usually spend.
Did you save the amount you'd budgeted? Did you already spend some of your budget by buying ahead to save (see farther down in the list for more on this tip)? Did unexpected costs pop up so that maybe you shouldn't spend as much as you'd planned? If you didn't save as much as you thought you would, or if you have bills coming up in the new year you'll need money from, reevaluate how much you have to spend and set a limit for yourself.

If you didn't set a budget, how much have you set aside for the holidays? Factor in any upcoming expenses as well so you can figure out what amount you can really afford.

3. Set a spending limit for each person.
Make a list of all the people you and your family would like to give gifts to this year. Looking at the total spending limit you've set, how much of that do you want to put toward gifts? It's a balance between all the holiday spending categories so if you spend more on gifts, that's less for the celebration category. Once you figure out your total gift amount, figure out what you can afford to spend on each person on your list. You may want to break out a special category for stocking stuffers. Your final numbers should add up to, or come in below, the total you want to spend on gifts.

4. Set a spending limit for celebration spending (i.e. food, decorations, wrapping paper, activities, etc.).
After you figure out gifts, how much of your holiday budget is left? That's your limit for celebration spending. Break it out into all the subcategories you spend on, such as food, decorations, a tree, wrapping paper, any holiday activities, donations you make, etc. Your list is personal to you. If you don't have enough for all your categories, you'll either have to trim some back or take it out of the gift spending.

5. If you can't pay for it right now, don't buy it.
Remember, only buy things you have the money to pay for right now. Don't put it on a credit card and carry a balance, it'll just hurt you in the long run. Lay away is a great option if you need to use it.

6. Shop sales for gifts and food.
Here are some great tips for saving money on food. More are here. As for gifts, it's always best to check out all the sales and get things as cheap as you can, especially as sales are the best around the holidays!

7. Buy ahead.
Speaking of sales -- Don't forget to take advantage of the after-holidays sales to start buying for next year. Decorations, wrapping paper, even gifts can be stored away for next season and you'll pay a fraction of the price. Keep your eyes open throughout the year to grab deals on gifts when you see them. I keep bins in our storage area that I fill with gifts as I pick them up for cheap. When you buy ahead, be sure to subtract it from your holiday budget for next year as you go so you don't end up spending more than you'd planned. Remember number five!


8. Scout flyers. Check online. Comparison shop.
Even if the sale looks good at one store, it may be even better at another. Scout the flyers and online deals to find the best price. Compare, compare, compare!

9. Shop thrifty.
Thrift stores can be a great place to find deals. You'll save money and be doing a favor for the environment by reusing. Many thrift stores benefit a cause as well. Scope out the ones that do so you also end up helping out someone who is in need this season.

10. Make gifts and decorations.
Yes, making gifts can save you money. But, the biggest benefit is that homemade gifts require thought, effort and time store bought ones don't. That means you're give an extra special gift with a whole lot of meaning and love with it. This is also a great option for those loved ones who already seem to have everything. A special homemade goodie basket with a selection of teas and hot chocolates, gifts made by the kids or a knitted blanket are some suggestions. There are plenty of fun home decoration crafts you can make, too! I'll be sharing a wreath tutorial or two in the coming weeks.

11. Want, need, read, wear.
So many of our kids have more than they really need or can use. Sticking to the "want, need, read, wear" rule means each kid gets one gift they want, one they really need, one they can read and one of clothes to wear. Less "stuff" to clutter the house and added savings for you.


12. Take inventory.
What do your kids and spouse already have? What do they really need? What wrapping paper, baking supplies, food and decor is hanging around? If you already have 5 dolls lying around never played with, should you really be getting little Susie another? It's also a great time to dig through toys that aren't played with, kitchen gadgets you don't use and clothes that are no longer being worn so that you can donate them to those in need.

13. Avoid cute, yet pointless, gifts.
That little trinket may look fun or be amusing, but is the person you're going to give it to really going to do anything with it the next day? If you suspect it'll just end up pitched in a drawer or collecting dust somewhere, skip it. You're saving yourself money and the giftee space.

14. Check in with your budget after each purchase and keep lists.
Keep the budget you outlined somewhere you can easily see it so you're less likely to stray. Each time you make a purchase, subtract the amount from the corresponding category. This keeps you accountable and on track so you're not saying, "Wait a minute...I don't remember spending that! Now there's nothing left and I still need to get XYZ!"

15. Take advantage of free activities.
There are so many fun, free activities around the community to do this time of year. You can get creative and have fun at home, too. Check out my list of free activities that'll be up on the blog in the next few weeks to get ideas.

16. Don't be afraid to return. 
If you buy something and it's cheaper a few days or a week later, either at the same store or another, take it back and get the lower price. Factor in the cost of gas to make the return to be sure it's still going to be a savings. Even if a gift has already been wrapped, it can still be exchanged if you unwrap it. Do it carefully so you can reuse the wrapping as the gift will be the same!

17. Remember the meaning of the season.
It isn't the amount of money you spend. It's the time you spend thinking of those you love. It's the memories you build with your loved ones. Those are things you'll remember year to year, not who gave you what gift. Years from now, your kids are going to remember how you sang Christmas carols, baked together, watched holidays movies each night leading up to Christmas, drank hot chocolate while watching the town parade, ate dinner together and enjoyed just being a family. They'll have no clue how many gifts were under the tree, how fancy the dinner was or even what was in those packages.

Happy holidays!

 

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Holiday Gift Guide for Kids for $20 and Under

Today's post is co-written by guest-poster Laurie.

It's that time of year again! No, not just groaning at having to let your belt out another notch. What to get the kids in your life without breaking the bank or the budget you set earlier in the year! It seems like there are so many pricey toys and electronics popping up all over commercials. Going to the store doesn't help us get ideas. For Laurie, it makes her more frustrated because her almost 5-year-old daughter still wants that overpriced Minnie Mouse shopping cart that she outgrew 2 years ago. For Melissa, she has a hard time deciding what to get because M2 isn't talking much and doesn't play with toys the same way most kids do. Both of us need to be very careful with spending this year, too, so we can't go crazy on overly expensive gifts.

If any of that sounds like you, here's something to help you out: A holiday gift guide for every age from baby through teens. It's sorted by age and includes a number of suggestions for each age. Even better, all the gifts $20 or under on Amazon. You don't even need to brave the stores, crowds and traffic to shop -- everything is delivered right to your door! Get free two-day shipping with Amazon Prime. Try Prime free for 30 days when you click here (affiliate).

Even if a particular item on the list doesn't sound like the perfect fit it's my hope it sparks the image of the perfect present to pop into your head.

Be sure to check out Melissa's tips on how to avoid Holiday Overspending Regret. Now, without further ado, here's The Stay-At-Home Life's 2015 Holiday Gift Guide for Kids. Happy gifting!

 Baby 

 

1. Oball Rattle and Roll Car 

 

2. Fisher- Price Brilliant Basics Boppin' Activity Bugs 
 

3. Leapfrog My Pal Violet or Scout

4. Bright Starts Clack and Slide Activity Ball and Take Along Tunes Bundle 

 

5. World of Eric Carle The Very Hungry Caterpillar Soft Book

6. Poppity Pop Musical Dino 

   

7. Baby Einstein Bendy Ball

 

8. Vtech Touch and Swipe Phone

 

Toddler

 

1. Melissa and Doug Deluxe 10 piece Magnetic Fishing Game

2. Lala Loopsy Girls Crumbs Sugar Cookie Doll 

3. LeapFrog Scribble and Write

 

4. Vtech KidiBeats Kids Drum Set

 

5. LEGO DUPLO: My First Cars Creative Building Set, Cafe, Creative Animals, My First Playhouse, My First Farm or My First Number Train 



6. Melissa and Doug Chunky and Knob Puzzles: Construction, Pets, Shapes, Farm, Vehicles, Christmas Tree or Santa's Sleigh

  

7. Vtech Spin and Learn Color Flashlight

 

8. Little Blue Truck, Little Blue Truck's Christmas or Little Blue Truck Leads the Way

 

Kids Ages 5-7

 

1. Shopkins Season 3 Mega Pack of Shopkins or 12 pack

2. Melissa and Doug Sunny Patch Verdie Chameleon BeanBag Toss Toy 

3. My First Mind Blowing Science Kit

4. The Big Book of Berenstein Bears Beginner Book 

5. Disney Anniversary BluRays: Robin Hood, Alice In Wonderland, Dumbo, Aristocats, The Rescuers or Sword in the Stone

6. Melissa and Dough Wooden Advent Calendar Tree

 

7. Hot Wheels 20 Car Gift Pack



8. LEGO Sets: Princess Castle, Construction, SpiderMan, Fire Suitcase, or Supermarket Suitcase ** Though not under $20, Princess Elsa's Sparkling Ice Castle is too good not to mention

 

9. Folkmanis Puppets: Raccoon, Bear, Frog, Owl or Mouse

 

 

Older Kids Ages 8-12

 

1. LEGO Sets: Batman, Sea Plane, Classic Blocks, Minecraft Cave, Hydra vs. Captain America, Train, Fire Truck, Vet Clinic, Star Wars, Jungle Friends or Sunshine Harvest 
 

2. Jenga

 

3. Disgusting Science Set



4. Spirograph

 

5. Friends for Ever Jewelry Kit

 

6. Crystal Growing Kit

 

7. Clue

 

8. Snap Circuits Jr. 
 
 

9. Apples to Apples Junior

 

Teenagers 

 

1. The Maze Runner Books 1, 2, 3 and the Prequel by James Dashner 

2. Mpow iSnap X One-piece U-Shape Self-portrait Monopod Extendable Selfie Stick 

 

3. The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins

4. AYL Portable Mini Capsule Speaker System with 3YR Guarantee with Rechargeable Battery and Expandable Bass Resonator for Smartphones, Tablets, MP3 Players, Computers, Laptops, Cell Phones, iPhone 6S (Black)

 

5. Month Python and the Holy Grail 40th Anniversary Edition

 

6. SanDisk Cruzer CZ36 32GB USB 2.0 Flash Drive

  

7. Amazon Gift Card Amount of your Choice or Pick Predetermined Amount Get in Bulk or Individually

8. Teens Cook: How to Cook What you Want to Eat 

 

  9. Apples to Apples, Bananagrams, Zombie Fluxx or Smart Ass 
**Cards Against Humanity, this one is over $20 but too good not to mention

   

If you're still stumped, try some of these lists for more ideas:

Top Picks in STEM Toys
Top Picks in Toys that Go
Family Game Night
Movie Favorites
Kid Picks
Active Play
Top Picks in Retro Toys
Mom Picks
Amazon's Holiday Toy List


We hope you're inspired by this holiday gift guide for kids! Happy holidays!

About the Co-Author
Laurie is Melissa's sister and a fellow stay-at-home mom to two little girls -- a 4-year-old and a newborn -- along with being step mom to a 5-year-old daughter when she visits. Living in a New England state, she has a big Australian Sheepdog along with the kids and her husband. She enjoys music, decorating cakes, Star Wars, Doctor Who and annoying Melissa.


Remember to vote for the blog today by clicking on the pink Top Mommy Blogs banner below! Your support is much appreciated. 

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Dear Self: You're Good Enough

Since M2's diagnosis, we've had so much going on around here. Life has recently taken another turn that's had us getting used to a new normal. At the advice of her current therapists, I started the process to get her an EDCD Medicaid waiver in order to get an in-home aide to help out with her. I struggled with the decision to get the waiver and an aide. I struggled with whether or not I was a good enough mom because I needed help with her.

It simply is impossible to go out alone with her and baby B, she either runs off down the street when I try to get her in the car, gets in the car but then jumps into the front then into the back when I try to grab her, runs off where ever we go plus in the parking lot, takes off down the street when we get home or some combination of those. On really bad days, she screams getting into the car, kicks the seat, and screams bloody murder and kicks the seat as hard as she can at any stop sign or light. Not to mention all that goes on once we get to where ever we're going. We can't even go for walks because of these issues.


There are no playgroups, trips to the park, going to church to meet people and get involved with the community, story times or ANYTHING unless A is home. With his schedule, that limits much of those activities. M2 also can't be left for more than a moment at home so getting anything done, even cooking dinner, is a Herculean effort that is usually an impossibility. Even taken care of baby B is difficult. Eyes must be on her at all times. For days each week, M2, B and I end up trapped in the house, even limited as to what we can do there, because it's just not an option for me to have to decide whether to leave baby B and chase M2 or let M2 run off.

Despite all this, I still had that internal struggle. I always feel like I should be able to do everything myself. I'm a stay-at-home mom, my job is to take care of the kids. I shouldn't be needing someone else to help us out. To have an aide would mean I'm not good enough. That I'm not what I should be. Plus, the idea of having a stranger in the house didn't sit well with me. I had the idea in my head that the house would always have to look perfect, I'd have to be dressed and I'd always have to be on top of my game at the peak of perfection to prove I'm a good mom. Plus, would the aide think I'm just a bad mom who can't handle her kid? What if she thought I was nuts and should just be able to handle everything myself? Would she be nice to M2? Would she understand M2's issues and be able to work with her? Would it really help to have an aide or would I just always feel on edge?

Every time I talked to someone through all the screenings, telling them what was going on, why we needed an aide, I felt as though what I was really telling them was, "I'm not good enough. I need help so that our lives will be better."

Realizing how limited we are and how little we're able to interact with the community began to change my thoughts on an aide. Deep down, I knew it was best for M2, B and for me. The stress, fear and difficulty with daily life was just too much. It wasn't fair to any of us. I pushed my second-guessing away and kept with the process. I fought every step of the way to get her the waiver. Even when I thought there was no way we'd get it, no matter how bad we truly need it.

It took three months, lots of phone calls, screenings and red tape to get the waiver approved. Let me tell you, people are not very helpful with getting services approved. Most didn't even seem to know let alone understand the process. Once the waiver was in place, it took more time to actually find an agency willing to work with a child. Most don't. Then of the few that did, only one even had someone they'd be able to send over. After more screenings, we were set up with an interim aide to start as the agency doesn't have someone available for all the days and times we need and for which we qualify.

The aide started with us three weeks ago. Since she's been here for a few hours two days a week, things are starting to change. I've left the house with the kids for the first time without A and without there being major issues. The aide is there to make sure M2 stays safe. That is her job. That takes away so much of my fear and the safety hazards we encounter in every day life. We're starting to venture out now, rather than being constantly trapped. I'm not as stressed when the aide is here. Once we have an aide for all the days and hours we need, there will be even less stress and fear. I even have an adult to talk to! The aide is kind to M2, understands the situation, and sees exactly why we need her here.

The house isn't always perfect. And that's ok. I'm not always even dressed or showered when the aide arrives. That's ok, too. She doesn't care. She's here to help, not to judge. She's offered great advice of how we can get other help we need, too. Not only is she there for M2, she supports me as well. I have an ally in making our lives what they should be rather than having to be a shut in avoiding danger. I've realized we all need the aide.

 And that's ok.

There's no shame in needing another set of eyes and hands.

I am a good mom.

I do my best.

We all need a little extra help sometimes with the difficult parts of our lives.

Realizing the help is needed and taking the steps to get it isn't failing.

I wasn't telling those people I suck. I was just telling them we need help.

Having an aide is doing exactly what I should be doing: what's best for my kids.

I am good enough.


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