10 Life Lessons My Mother Taught Me

In honor of Mother's Day, I'd like to share with you some of the important life lessons my own mother has taught me over the years. Some are more on the serious side. Some are amusing. Some are from years ago, some she's taught me only recently, as learning never stops in life. All have been meaningful in my life for one reason or another.

The many lessons I've learned from people in my life are what I always end up remembering about them, even after they've passed on or simply aren't in my life anymore. People leave marks on our hearts, making us who we are. The ones who have taught me something are the ones who have had the most influence on me and who are the most precious. The lessons from my mom are extra special since she's my mother. What she has taught me has shaped who I am since day one. She's taught me much more than these 10 things, of course.

All of the 10 lessons I'm sharing with you are lessons I'll never forget. Each one has a memory that goes with it that I cherish.

Has your own mother taught you something that has stuck with you? I'd love to hear about it in the comments! Happy Mother's Day!

1. Kindness matters, so do second chances

Being kind to everyone, from strangers, cashiers, servers, the homeless guy on the street to friends and family, my mom has taught me everyone is equal and everyone deserves for you to be kind. If they screw up, they also deserve a second chance. Maybe even a third or fourth. Now, after that, if they turn out to just be a total jerk, it's time to write them off and keep my distance.

2. Family is important, even when they suck

Writing off family isn't an option, no matter how crazy, nasty or off-the-wall they are. It's family, so we work it out. If someone needs to be bailed out of a tight spot, we're there for them. That's just what family does. There may be a whole lot of yelling in the process, but we're still there when they need us. Love them. Support them. Stick by them. Even the sucky ones I wish I weren't actually related to half the time. Feel free to pick up the phone and let another family member know how craptastic they're being at the moment, though. Just be up front and inform said member of their suckage directly, too. Venting is healthy. Then let it go a week later when there's something interesting to talk to them about. Because they're family.

3. Keep fighting, even when it seems impossible, do what needs to be done

If someone tells you something is impossible, figure out a way and do it despite them. If something goes wrong, keep at it until it's right. Be the best, work hard, keep fighting. If life throws a lemon at your head, don't give up, keep on going. This applies to everything from school and work to health problems, family, marriage (stick with it, work it out), and the insurance company or store who screwed you over and owes you money. In the case of the insurance company or store, remember that kindness matters. If that gets you no where, talk to a manager and raise holy hell if you must while still being respectful, of course. Just remember to thank them for their help after they fix the problem.

4. Treat guests like family

Well, how you'd treat family if you were a "normal" family. Really, you'd think my sister and I were raised in the South, not that I'm a transplant, with some of mom's life lessons. Nope, we were Northerners (the rest of my family still is). We still roll out the Southern-style hospitality, though. Guests are treated like family (even if you don't like them).

This includes: 1. presenting a clean house 2. a properly appointed bathroom (soap, toilet paper and fresh towels with properly clean facilities) 3. providing comfortable, clean sheets and blankets for overnight guests 4. providing drinks and a snack 5. preparing a meal the guest likes, being aware of allergies and foods the guest doesn't care for 6. being polite, respectful and kind 7. set a nice table 8. always have enough food, it's better to have too much than not enough -- you don't want people to have to count their peas 9. hide the crazy until after the guests leave (the goal is for them to think they're visiting a typical family, not one ready to join the circus because the kids are swinging from the ceiling, food is being thrown across the room, daddy's pants have a hole and mommy burn the dinner three ways to Sunday 10. be sweet as pie, which includes not complaining about anyone until after they leave if it's someone you really don't like and wish they'd go far, far away, but politeness requires an invite (remember how I said you'd think we were always Southerners? Think Steele Magnolias here.) Note: If it's actually family visiting, feel free to let the crazy flag fly and put them to work. They're stuck with you anyway. Still adhere to 1, 2, 3, 4 and 8, however.

5. If someone attacks you, sit on them and fart

This one is pretty self explanatory. My mom has told me this since I was a little kid. Really, it's pretty wise advice. Who would expect that? It's not something I'm likely to forget and I still find it amusing.

6. Make gifts thoughtful and always be gracious when receiving one

The thought really does count. No matter how small the gift, if thought went into it, it can become something that's treasured for a life time. I still remember a mouse in an ice cream cup magnet my great-grandmother gave me. I still have it, packed away with treasured mementos, though she gave it to me 20 years ago at least. We'd gone to visit her and she wanted me to pick something out at the store, simply because she wanted to get me something I liked. Even though she was on a tight income and really didn't have much to spend. Not at all fancy, not expensive, but it's special because she thoughtfully wanted to get me a gift. Another time, my great-aunt and uncle got me a Christmas gift of a pair of heart earrings. I love heart-shaped jewelry even now. My great-aunt knew this so she picked them out for me. What she didn't know was that I already had that pair. I didn't thank them any less graciously than I would have had I not had the same ones at home. That didn't matter, what mattered was that she cared enough to know what I liked AND to get me something when she didn't have to. I kept them, too, because there was so much care and love behind them.

7. It doesn't matter if you're a great cook -- what matters is that your cooking has never killed anyone and no one went hungry

Pots burnt because the water was boiled out of them. Recipes gone wrong. Dinner that's edible but barely. Plain cooking that's good but not awesome. Did it kill anyone? Did anyone go hungry? If the answer to both is no, it's a win, pure and simple.

8. The bathroom is your sanctuary when you're a mom

Once your kids are old enough to be safe alone for awhile, or when daddy's home, go in that bathroom, lock the door, and don't come out until you absolutely have to. Consider it your office. Use nice towels so you have something pretty to admire while you sit on the toilet reading or talking on the phone (only do that with close family though, otherwise it goes from odd to freaky). If the kids look for you in the bathroom before searching you out in any other room, you're doing it right. Bonus points if one of the kids gifts you with a sign for the potty door that says "Mom's Office" for Mother's Day (an especially thoughtful gift so they've been taught right).

9. Shopping is therapy and all purchase info must be shared with your husband -- whether he wants to hear about it or not

Retail therapy is an important part of being a mom. My mom has be a practitioner of this form of therapy ever since I was tiny (probably before). She's also passed on the gift of sharing every purchase, good bargain, why you bought one item and not another, how much you paid, where all you went, and every other mundane detail of each therapy session with your husband. As soon as you get home, while unpacking and showing him every single person. In great detail. No matter how much said husband's eyes glaze over. If he's not paying attention, it's important to get his attention and start over. He must listen and look. Should he fall asleep, poke him with a hanger to wake him up, then start at the beginning.

10. Have fun together and laugh

You can probably tell by now that my mom and our family has a sense of humor. Since our family can scream at each other one minute then be laugh like hyenas the next over something crazy, we probably won't win any awards for Functional, Normal Family of the Year. We won't care, we'll be too busy laughing. As my mom always tells me, no family is really normal. Every family is screwed up in some way -- some are just better at hiding it. We might as well enjoy what we have.

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Celebrating Two Years of Blogging

Life has been majorly crazy around here lately, with more to come. M2 has been having issues more often. We all keep getting sick and passing it around. Appointment after appointment for doctors, car repairs, HVAC issues, you name it. Lots of family from around the country is visiting this month.

I have also been battling a case of writer's block. There are so many ideas swirling around in my head, yet the words don't want to come. Any of the posts I've written lately have taken much longer than usual. Most of the time, I start one then come back to it weeks later to finish. I've been struggling with balance between work and family, too. There is only so much time and I've needed more of it for family and to work on my weight loss.

While all this was going on, I realized I've been blogging for two years now. Happy two years! Thank you all for joining my crazy, busy life as it's changed over and over again in that short time. I can't wait to share what's to come with you. You guys are awesome and your support means so much.

Two years is the perfect time to step back, reevaluate and decide where to go from here.


More time than I'm comfortable with was getting sucked up by social media, so I'm cutting back on that. The big upside to being a freelance writer/editor and  blogger is that I set my own schedules. I can be a stay-at-home mom, too, and put my family first. That hasn't been happening as much as it should. When you work for yourself, there's always something else you could be doing. I'm the type that pushes myself to do more, be more, do better, be better. Blog more. Post on social media more. Get more readers. Blogs take up a surprising amount of time, demanding a ton of work. Especially in the first few years. To be totally honest, I was starting to feel tons of pressure, stress and anxiety from blogging and freelancing. I didn't like the feeling or what it was turning me into.

Work was encroaching on the life I want to have, the life that is my reason for everything. Despite being home, I felt like I was missing too much with the kids. Too much of my life was being devoted to the wrong things. I don't want to be one of those people who live to work, I want to work to live. Right now, that means flipping my schedules and priorities around into a more comfortable balance. Life is my focus, not work. I've been talking about balance and how it's one of my goals for this year. Well, the light bulb came on about how I need to do that.

I'm not giving up my work or the blog, don't get me wrong! There are still going to be weekly posts and daily social media updates. I want to share my life with you, not be pressured to have the perfect blog and do everything "just right." I've put the blog and my freelance business it in it's proper place and giving am it the time it deserves -- while putting my family and myself at the center, giving us the time we deserve, which is what is most important in my world right now. I'm simplifying my life, making sure to live as much as possible in a way that won't create regrets.

Since I've decided to realign, I'm actually finding the writing is coming back to me. Instead of feeling pressure and stress from my work, I'm enjoying it again, which is why I started all this in the first place. I'm eager to see what the next chapter of life holds.

For a bit of fun and to celebrate, here is a baker's dozen of the blog's most popular posts:

Living a Simple, Happy Life

The Journey with Autism Begins

10 People You Encounter in Facebook Yard Sale Groups

How to Determine, Set and Follow a Budget in 7 Easy Steps

Colonial Williamsburg Gingerbread Cookies

Soft and Chewy Snickerdoodle Specials

Spiced Apple Cake with Cinnamon Sugar Buttercream Frosting

Dear Self: You're Good Enough

DIY Girl's Toddler Room

Marriage: The Changes 5 Years Bring

"The Fat Kid" Tells All: The Formative Years

"The Fat Kid" Tells All: The Teen Years

Easy Money-Saving Tips: Round 1

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How to Live Simply

Yesterday, I talked about my new, simpler way of living that I'm calling the Little House Lifestyle from the mind-set perspective. Today, I'm sharing some of the things I've been incorporating to get into this new lifestyle. Each fits in great with these easy ways to de-stress and builds on my goals for the year.

How to Live the Little House Lifestyle

Time Outside
Nature is constant. We go outside to soak in sunshine, a soft breeze, admire the beauty in the grass, trees, sky and flowers -- the same people have for thousands of years. Being outdoors grounds us and connects us to those simple times. It's time with ourselves and those we're with rather than embroiled in society. Step back, step out and step into nature. Nothing says Little House Lifestyle more than going with your family on a hike, walk in the woods, play time at the park, time in the backyard playing, sitting on the porch with your favorite drink, just being. We're working on redoing our yard so it looks pretty -- and so I finally have a porch swing -- so we'll have that beautiful outdoor haven I crave to enjoy being outside more.

Free activities
Take advantage of events and activities in your area that encourage family time rather than spending.

Family Time
Make time to put down electronic devises, turn off the TV and spend time together. Dinners, games, reading, time outside -- whatever you enjoy. Family is the heart of your life so keep it healthy by building memories and relationships.

Bake Fresh
Bake a yummy treat. Fresh, homemade cookies and bread can be calming to make. When the littles pitch in, it creates a memory. Plus, the house smells amazing and you have something yummy to eat.

Quality vs. Quantity
A closet stuffed with clothes, shoes and purses doesn't equal happiness. It's much better to have a few things that you love and take care of rather than tons of items you never wear that put stress on your finances. Before buying something new, I ask yourself if I really need it. If I don't, I skip it. I've shopping in my own closet for items I forgot about. Get a hole in a shirt? Sew it rather than buying a new one. Lately I've spent time going through closets, dressers and chests to clean out anything worn out beyond repair or that we just don't wear. Not having things you don't use helps keep your life simpler because you're not having to deal with it. Less clothes means less laundry to put away, too! If you do need new clothes, check out thrift stores or ask family and friends if there's anything they're tossing that you might like. Here are some great ways to save on kids' clothes.

Keep Food Simple
Rather than buying a ton of processed foods, going broke on fancy items you don't really need or eating out all the time, focus on cooking from scratch (the slow cooker is your friend), trimming the budget in favor of foods that are healthy and filling, and being frugal with your spending. This is great for your waist line and health, too.

Exercise
Get moving! Our ancestors didn't sit around all day, they were moving around, walking, farming, getting the blood flowing. A walk, lifting weights at home, doing a work out video, hiking, using home equipment, trying out yoga --whatever you like, find it and do it.

Garden
I can't think about a Little House Lifestyle without thinking of gardening. What is more basic than growing your own food? Flowers count, too. Planting a veggie garden helps you keep food at it's simplest, gets you outside and gets you exercising. You get more time to enjoy nature, too, getting out and getting dirty. Flowers lift your mood and give you a boost of nature, too. If you don't have room for a garden, pots work great, too. I'm working on turning part of our front  garden beds into a potted garden this spring.

Clean Up and Clean Out
We all have those areas of the house where we cram things to deal with later. Out of sight, out of mind...until we open a door and some errant, crammed in bag/bottle/knicknack/doodad/book/whatever practically knocks us out as it careen toward our head. Then there's all the stuff we liked when we got it, but isn't really something we like anymore, taking up space around the house. I've been going through everything cleaning up and cleaning out lately. Rather than having a ton of decorations around the house, I'm simplifying. There's less for the kids to dump, less to break and less to clean. All the trouble spots are getting emptied out. Keep, donate or trash piles abound. Why let junk weigh us down? If you don't love it, toss it!

Plan Your Day and Schedule
In order to keep life on track way back when, women planned their days out. They figured out what needed to be done and did it. I do the same. I figure out what needs to be done for the month, week and day, then plan it all out. Of course, since life is crazy and never goes according to plan, I'm always readjusting. Ma Ingalls did too, I'm sure. (Who plans for tons of rain to wipe out the crops so you spend a week salvaging what you can rather than cleaning?) I've also got laundry, cleaning, errand and cooking schedules that keep life on track and going smoothly. So simple, yet so helpful to keep me from feeling overwhelmed and out of control.

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Living a Simple, Happy Life

The longer we live in the country, the more I realize the benefits of living life simply. The newest purses, clothes and jewelry no longer bring the same excitement. Having fancy decorations and technology doesn't leave me jealous of those who have them. Instead, I appreciate what I have more, delight in a good bargain, make things I have last longer and focus on the simple things that make me happy. 

Little House Lifestyle

The Little House Lifestyle is what I'm calling this new lifestyle, which is really based on a whole new way of thinking. Imagine Little House on the Prairie here: A slower pace, enjoying life, relishing in the beauty around us, spending time with loved ones and living a life building memories rather than regrets. Living contentedly rather than wanting.

It's far to easy to fall into the trap of "someday." After XYZ happens, then I'll be happy. After I do ABC, I'll be happy. Striving for someday and missing out on what is happening now. Little House living is about living life for what is is rather than what it may be someday. Plan for the future and have goals, of course, but don't miss out on what you have now.

Let's face it, no one lies on their death bed wishing they'd gotten that awesome new cell phone, car or clothes. What haunts us in the end is not having enjoyed the simple parts of our days that matter most. 

Go Against the Grain to Find Happiness

Living simply goes against what society tells us we should want. We're supposed to love shopping, stuffing our closets, redecorating our homes every few years, buying the latest-and-greatest gadget. If something breaks, toss it and buy new. If close rip, throw them out, too. Rather than being grateful for and making the best of what we do have, we're supposed to desire what others have. We're always comparing how we look, what we have, what we do with others rather than being our own person. None of it gives us what we crave though --- to be happy and content. We're too busy focusing on what we don't have, how we don't measure up instead of recognizing the happiness right there in front of us. Being happy and content is about living for now, rather than what may come. It's the Little House Lifestyle.

Bank Account Bonus

A by-product of living simply is that you can live on less money. Needing less money means less stress and fights about money. Not spending as much allows you to build up that emergency fund you've been meaning to, or that has been looking a little slim. Or, you can save up for an experience the whole family is going to remember, a big purchase for the house (a garden you've been meaning to put in, a patio swing to enjoy your yard). All things you'll appreciate more than things that are likely to be forgotten, taking up space and making clutter in a few months. Win-win situation!

Now that you've read about the Little House Lifestyle from the mindset angle, check out tomorrow's post to find out what I've  been doing to actually implement this lifestyle.

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The First Visit from the Tooth Fairy

When thinking about what the tooth fairy will do, many parents think there is plenty of time to figure it out. We thought the girls were going to at least be in first grade before we had to worry about it. Little did we know, a new big-kid adventure awaited us sooner than we thought when J came to show me she had a loose tooth already!

Since she is only 5 years old, I freaked out inside a little bit. Outwardly I was all excited for her saying what a big girl she is getting to be. The minute she stepped out of the room I was on the phone calling the dentist to find out if it's normal. My fears were calmed when I was told it's completely normal for kids to start losing their baby teeth at 5 years old. Now truly excited, we had to inform Daddy who was at work, who had the same fears as I did until I said I already called. Then time to let Grama, Memere and Aunties know.

All J wanted was to tell one of her Aunties to have her big cousin call when she gets home from school. A call to her other Auntie lead J to run from the room terrified about someone wanting to tie a string around her tooth then to a door knob so they could slam the door to pull her tooth out. An hour later J comes running back going "I have two loose tooths!"

I checked and found out she was right! Two teeth right next to each other were loose. Where has the time gone I was wrapping my head around one now two? Onto the internet I went to figure out ideas for what to have the tooth fairy do/ bring for this special occasion. When I looked up to see J walking past with an apple I realized I should probably figure this out NOW.

C and I talked and decided for the first lost tooth we should do something special. After a lot of deliberating and mind changing we decided on something useful but "cool." A purple Frozen electric toothbrush that's a special present, gets her to brush her teeth more and a fitting gift from the Tooth Fairy. I also found a Berenstein Bears Tooth Fairy book  that I knew she would really enjoy.

Three weeks and two days later J said her loose tooth hurt. I checked and was so loose it could go almost flat. Tried a paper towel pull, she wiggled it front to back and side to side. C tried to tie a string around it for J to pull but the string wouldn't stay. J tried biting into an apple and she started crying that it hurt and it was bleeding steadily. I grabbed a paper towel and out it came!

She was ecstatic to have the tooth fairy visit. J asked if we can open her window to let the fairy in, so at bedtime we'll crack it and the tooth fairy will close it behind her. J was so excited for Mama to take a pic of her with her tooth fairy presents. By the time I got to take a picture she lost another tooth!

I can't believe my big girl lost two teeth and H just got her first one! The funny thing is J's first lost tooth tooth is the same location of H's first. As J says "it's the circle of life."

About the Author
Laurie is a stay-at-home mom to two little girls -- a baby and a 5-year-old -- and is stepmom to a 5-year-old daughter. Living in New England, she has a big Australian Sheepdog along with the kids and her husband. She enjoys music, decorating cakes and Doctor Who.

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The Truth About Breastfeeding, Part 3: Separation Anxiety and Adding Solids

In case you missed them, read part one and part two of the series by guest-poster Laurie to catch up.

They say you can never spoil a baby. But what if baby gets so hooked on one person they don't want anyone else? I've created a Baby Beast, as we affectionately call H now. Because I didn't have a job to return to she got Mama all day every day. It seemed just so much easier to only nurse and skip the bottle. It meant one less thing to clean - especially since our dishwasher is me.

Until C started a new job recently he was working weird hours at work sometimes 8-4 other days 11-7, some days he didn't even have a clue when he would be home. So H got used to be home with Mama and J. It was Mama feeding, Mama changing the diapers, Mama providing amusement and consoling. C tried to help when he was home but the weird hours were getting to him and H wanted one person only.

Even visits to see family would lead to tears if I wasn't the one holding her. And if we tried to have the rare babysitter -- oh, it was horrible. Maximum amount of time for happiness was 90 minutes then her fury came. She hated the bottle, if you got her in the first 90 minutes she would take it only if H thought she was the one holding it.

At H's 4 month appointment her doctor said she'll grow out of it eventually and that she's seen worse cases. We were told to keep trying the bottle, surprise surprise it didn't work. On the upside though she was reaching or surpassing the expected milestones. We also got a new activity to try - solids.

American Academy of Pediatrics recommends waiting until 6 months to introduce solids. When it comes to introducing solids to your baby there are different options. Like us many parents choose to start with a baby cereal such as rice or oatmeal then later give purées. With purées you can either make your own or buy jars pre-made. There is also baby led weaning. With baby-led weaning (BLW) you introduce little finger foods that baby can to themselves. A lot of parents that choose BLW wait until a minimum of 6 months if not longer.

A popular first food for with this method is avocado. Other then being only 4 months she showed signs of being ready. She would watch us eat and mimic chewing motions. H also had very good neck control - a must for a solid eating baby. With H's doctor's approval we began introducing baby oatmeal mixed with breast milk. Our hope was the cereal in her belly would help ease her reflux. If it wasn't for that we would have waited a bit long to introduce.

We began with a tablespoon once per day and slowly increased over a month. H's reflux seemed to be improving with less spit up. We tried introducing the bottle and H didn't want anything to do with it. Only successful time she took a bottle no issue was one time I gave it to her. She threw a fit if C or anyone else tried.

Other then the bottle hating, feeding-wise everything was going well. H enjoyed her morning oatmeal and was still nursing like a champ. At 5 months old her doctor gave approval to introduce purées. Again, we began with a tablespoon or so once a day. It was in addition to her breakfast of oatmeal. We started with the stage one purées since they were smoother. The ones H wasn't fond of from being too runny we added a little oatmeal to thicken.

Now, H is 7 months old and doing great with her solids. Going by her pediatrician's recommendation we're doing three meals a day. Morning is a jar of fruit purée with oatmeal mixed in for breakfast or half a cup of baby yogurt with probiotics. The yogurt we only do twice a week. Lunch is half a jar of purée veggie mixed with half a jar of meat purée with a little bit of multigrain cereal to even out the texture. Dinner is the same as lunch. It's important to follow your baby's lead for when they're full. H rarely eats a full jar usually about 2/3 or 3/4.

We've given up on getting her to take a bottle. I had asked H's pediatrician about trying a sippy cup instead. So a couple weeks ago we purchased a Munchkin Latch sippy cup. The reviews I read on Amazon showed a lot of babies have success taking the sippy when they wouldn't take a bottle before. SUCCESS! She loves to use her sippy cup. I have just been putting about 2 ounces in it at a time so it's not too heavy for her to lift. H hasn't figured it out completely yet but she likes trying!

Thanks for following along on my journey! As H continues to grow I will share the next leg of the adventure.

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About the Author
Laurie is a stay-at-home mom to two little girls -- a baby and a 5-year-old -- and is stepmom to a 5-year-old daughter. Living in New England, she has a big Australian Sheepdog along with the kids and her husband. She enjoys music, decorating cakes and Doctor Who.

This post contains affiliate links.

Being Grateful for Everyday Things

Life gets busy. Crazy busy. There's always something to clean, fix, make or do. Day after day. Week after week. It never seems like there's enough hours in a day to get it all done, let alone enough time to just sit and be. In all the rush of life, it's easy to forget to take a moment to be grateful for the simple, everyday things. I'm not talking the big things, like being grateful for family and friends or what you'd say as you go around the table at Thanksgiving. I'm talking about the small things that are so easily taken for granted. The little things that can be easily overlooked when they really need to get the recognition they deserve.

I've realized this and am working at taking the time to think about the positive things in the day, even on the worst day when the kids are screaming, milk is spilled all over, paint is dumped, the house is a mess and the to-do list is crammed full, can actually make the day better. No matter how bad it's going. It's kind of like a personal meditation, a chance to realize that even at the worst moment, there are wonderful things going on to make it all worth it. Just thinking about a few good parts in the day helps me to reset, fix my attitude and get back in the fray. I'll admit, it doesn't always work, but on the whole, it's helping me to think more positively. It's also helping to get rid of some of the stress I have to deal with all the time. Being a mom isn't easy, so there's plenty of that going around. Anything I can do to get rid of even a tiny bit of it is worth it, especially when it's this simple to do.

Nothing I've been grateful for lately is anything outstanding by itself. 

When I look back at a few days though, I see all the good things in my life. The  good starts to overshadow the bad so that I start seeing more good, without even trying. I'm finding myself not even having to purposely stop and think about it. The good things pop into my head now on their own. When life is particularly hard (like when M2 painted the counter, wall, two chairs and bathroom the other week, making a giant mess I had to clean up while B screamed because he wanted attention right then) I have to work harder at it.

I'm not perfect, I'll never be. I'm never going to be a cheery Mrs. Mary Sunshine type, seeing rainbows and kittens everywhere. When life is nuts, I'm not going to be sitting there humming, saying, "Oh, it's ok! Everything is wonderful!" That's just not me. Early mornings and I are never going to be friends, either, no matter how pretty that sunrise is or how grateful I am for it. However, I am determined to have a better outlook overall though and to recognize what good things are in my life. Seeing only bad just makes life harder.

Being able to see good even during the bad is going to help me be a better mother and teach my kids to see life in a more positive way.

Have you ever noticed how kids see the magic in everything? Every day is an adventure. Every hour is a chance for something good. Laughter comes easy. Life holds promise. I don't want them to lose that and to focus on the bad. I want them to see life as they do now, beautiful and wondrous. Kids learn by example, so I need to be that example.

During your crazy days, feeding the kids breakfast, cleaning up the messes, breaking up the latest argument and trying to diffuse the millionth tantrum, look for the good. When life is going great, the house is clean, you got out to do errands, the kids are listening, look for the good. You'll be amazed how easy it starts to be. You'll start to see how great your life really is and how much you never realized is special about each day. The little good things will become more important than the bad. You'll start to see that magic that your kids do again.

If I really get my act together, I'll make a nifty journal and write down a few good things about each day. Realistically, I'd probably not even get through a full week and it'd sit to collect dust, taking up valuable real estate on some surface. Mental notes are going to have to be good enough.

What good things have been going on lately? 

Seeing M2 and B having a dance party. M2 creating a neat picture in all the paint mess and her being very proud of it. Listening to music during breakfast. Watching M2 go crazy watching Harry Potter, screaming, "Potter fly! Potter fly!" B grabbing his sister's brush and running off with it, just to see if she notices. Finishing a new coloring project. The snow coating the trees in our yard. The moon lighting up the entire street, casting a glow so bright it looks like early morning. Snuggling deep in the warm bed sheets. Finding a discount grocery store in our area that'll help cut the food bill. Renting movies from the library. Finding two books that have been on hold for months, that I really wanted to read, available at the library -- both on the same day. Reading a new author that I like. Having a pizza with A and watching a movie once the kids have gone to bed. Listening to a new, catchy song. Eating sweet, juicy strawberries even in winter.

Like I said, all little things. Things that may seem silly to others but help me feel calmer, happier and thankful for my crazy, busy life.

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Life Balance, Simplified

Sex and the City has been playing on my Kindle often lately. It's 25 minutes of pure entertainment and voyeurism into the lives of four New York City women -- so not at all like my own life, yet I keep finding parallels that get me thinking. Which led to an epiphany in my quest for life balance this year.

Even if we live out in the country and no where near the city (let alone single or having crazy sex in said city), we somehow relate to Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha. Why? Because we're all like those four women at heart. There's our creative, stylish side, our ladylike, well-mannered side, our sexy, daring side and our professional, career-minded side. Those women are us. And like those women, we're all searching for something in our lives. Some of us are at that point of seeking out the awesome career. The perfect relationship for us. The child we want badly. The job we love and kick butt at. The fun night that is all about us.

Where we are in our lives changes the search and ourselves. We go from the career and marriage to having kids that become our worlds. Our search becomes one for balance between being mom and wife and our jobs (whether it be in an office, working from home or working in the home). We struggle to find ourselves in the ultimate search of who we are in that messy unbalanced life. Our lives are crazy and messy, always changing. Whenever balance is almost in our grasp, something else shows up as easily as Big in his sleek town car to change our lives again. We're in constant struggle to find the perfect balance between life and ourselves. Yet, life is never as neat and orderly as Charlotte's well-appointed apartment.

So what's that mean for us? Are we going to always been searching for that balance, chasing our tails, just to never find it? I don't think so. It means that we need to find balance in the moment of our lives we're experiencing now. Sometimes, we'll need to focus on our creative side, other times our careers or relationships.

At the center is ourselves, though. We need to be sure we don't get shoved to the side or lose who we are or we'll always be out of balance in our lives because ourselves will hanging on desperately to the merry-go-round rather than operating the controls.

And when life throws us a man in a town car just as our current life is going great? We need to be flexibly agile to keep our metaphorical high-heeled Louboutin's from sticking into the sidewalk grate and tripping us up. All we can do is stay up on those heels, find the balance that's best in moment of our lives, and keep walking. A glass of wine every now and then doesn't hurt, either.

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My Word of the Year

I've seen this everywhere lately: People picking a word of the year. It's kind of like setting goals, though this would be the overarching goal and theme for the entire year. What is it that sums up all the goals, where you want to be at the end of the year and what the year is going to be all about?

We were talking about this in my wonderful stay-at-home moms' group recently. It got me to thinking what my word of the year should be. It didn't take me long. With all I'm working toward, the answer was clear. Transformation.

I want to transform myself and my life in many ways this year. As you read, you'll probably notice something that I did while writing it -- everything fits together and really does form a bigger picture. That lets me know I really did choose the right word!

Transforming my body
It's no secret that I'm working on losing weight this year. My goal is to lose at least 52 pounds this year. I'm simply not comfortable with my weight and am determined to change it for the better. I've been setting two-week goals for myself to help me get that weight off.

Transforming my health
This goes hand in hand with transforming my body. Losing the weight helps with my health. Eating healthier foods, drinking more water, incorporating more movement and exercise into my life, and focusing on my health all goes along with that. I'm dividing body and health transformation into two because it's just that important and that big of a change. You can also lose weight, yet still be unhealthy, or even just gain it all back because it wasn't a total life style change. Neither of those are something I want! I'm going for the whole package.

Transforming my inner self
I am the type of person who worries and stresses to much. I strive for perfection in everything. Even simple things, like which milk to get at the store. I want to be sure it's the right choice, the best thing I can do. As you can imagine, this leads to more inner turmoil than is good for a person. I'm working on letting go of all this. Inner peace is going to be found this year. Expect to see more about this, from what I go through to how I plan to change it, at some point. I haven't quite gotten all my thoughts together yet, when I do I'll share.

Transforming my blog
You may have already noticed a few changes around here. New banner, new tabs, some changes to the layout and follow buttons, small things like that. There are so many things I've been meaning to do that I haven't gotten around to. Slowly, I'm ticking them off the list one by one.

I've also got big plans for what I want to write, how often I post and improving content to give you what you want to read. I want to bring a balance of types of posts to the blog to give you the whole stay-at-home-mom life overview.

Behind-the-scenes things to bring in more much-needed income are also in the works. I'm even thinking about writing a book. The blog is my job and how I make my income so that's always a part of the bigger picture.

Transforming my life balance
Going hand-in-hand with transforming the blog is finding life balance. I often feel that I'm putting too much time into the blog when I should be doing more with the kids or keeping up with the house. Or, that I'm spending too much time with the kids but not enough with A or on my own. It's all about balance and I need to transform my life to find that balance between all the roles I play. (More on balance is coming up soon.)

Transforming my daily life
To transform my life balance, I need to transform my daily life as well to get everything aligned. I want to get on a cleaning schedule, have more activities with the kids, stick to meal planning, not be as attached to social media and electronics, clearing out household items I don't need and organizing so the days run smoother, and other things along those lines.

Transforming my finances
So much has changed in our lives financially over the past year. Using my usual budget, I want to get all the finances in even better order. New ways to save, not spending as much on material goods, focusing on what matters in life and the experiences vs the "stuff."


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