10 Life Lessons My Mother Taught Me

In honor of Mother's Day, I'd like to share with you some of the important life lessons my own mother has taught me over the years. Some are more on the serious side. Some are amusing. Some are from years ago, some she's taught me only recently, as learning never stops in life. All have been meaningful in my life for one reason or another.

The many lessons I've learned from people in my life are what I always end up remembering about them, even after they've passed on or simply aren't in my life anymore. People leave marks on our hearts, making us who we are. The ones who have taught me something are the ones who have had the most influence on me and who are the most precious. The lessons from my mom are extra special since she's my mother. What she has taught me has shaped who I am since day one. She's taught me much more than these 10 things, of course.

All of the 10 lessons I'm sharing with you are lessons I'll never forget. Each one has a memory that goes with it that I cherish.

Has your own mother taught you something that has stuck with you? I'd love to hear about it in the comments! Happy Mother's Day!

1. Kindness matters, so do second chances

Being kind to everyone, from strangers, cashiers, servers, the homeless guy on the street to friends and family, my mom has taught me everyone is equal and everyone deserves for you to be kind. If they screw up, they also deserve a second chance. Maybe even a third or fourth. Now, after that, if they turn out to just be a total jerk, it's time to write them off and keep my distance.

2. Family is important, even when they suck

Writing off family isn't an option, no matter how crazy, nasty or off-the-wall they are. It's family, so we work it out. If someone needs to be bailed out of a tight spot, we're there for them. That's just what family does. There may be a whole lot of yelling in the process, but we're still there when they need us. Love them. Support them. Stick by them. Even the sucky ones I wish I weren't actually related to half the time. Feel free to pick up the phone and let another family member know how craptastic they're being at the moment, though. Just be up front and inform said member of their suckage directly, too. Venting is healthy. Then let it go a week later when there's something interesting to talk to them about. Because they're family.

3. Keep fighting, even when it seems impossible, do what needs to be done

If someone tells you something is impossible, figure out a way and do it despite them. If something goes wrong, keep at it until it's right. Be the best, work hard, keep fighting. If life throws a lemon at your head, don't give up, keep on going. This applies to everything from school and work to health problems, family, marriage (stick with it, work it out), and the insurance company or store who screwed you over and owes you money. In the case of the insurance company or store, remember that kindness matters. If that gets you no where, talk to a manager and raise holy hell if you must while still being respectful, of course. Just remember to thank them for their help after they fix the problem.

4. Treat guests like family

Well, how you'd treat family if you were a "normal" family. Really, you'd think my sister and I were raised in the South, not that I'm a transplant, with some of mom's life lessons. Nope, we were Northerners (the rest of my family still is). We still roll out the Southern-style hospitality, though. Guests are treated like family (even if you don't like them).

This includes: 1. presenting a clean house 2. a properly appointed bathroom (soap, toilet paper and fresh towels with properly clean facilities) 3. providing comfortable, clean sheets and blankets for overnight guests 4. providing drinks and a snack 5. preparing a meal the guest likes, being aware of allergies and foods the guest doesn't care for 6. being polite, respectful and kind 7. set a nice table 8. always have enough food, it's better to have too much than not enough -- you don't want people to have to count their peas 9. hide the crazy until after the guests leave (the goal is for them to think they're visiting a typical family, not one ready to join the circus because the kids are swinging from the ceiling, food is being thrown across the room, daddy's pants have a hole and mommy burn the dinner three ways to Sunday 10. be sweet as pie, which includes not complaining about anyone until after they leave if it's someone you really don't like and wish they'd go far, far away, but politeness requires an invite (remember how I said you'd think we were always Southerners? Think Steele Magnolias here.) Note: If it's actually family visiting, feel free to let the crazy flag fly and put them to work. They're stuck with you anyway. Still adhere to 1, 2, 3, 4 and 8, however.

5. If someone attacks you, sit on them and fart

This one is pretty self explanatory. My mom has told me this since I was a little kid. Really, it's pretty wise advice. Who would expect that? It's not something I'm likely to forget and I still find it amusing.

6. Make gifts thoughtful and always be gracious when receiving one

The thought really does count. No matter how small the gift, if thought went into it, it can become something that's treasured for a life time. I still remember a mouse in an ice cream cup magnet my great-grandmother gave me. I still have it, packed away with treasured mementos, though she gave it to me 20 years ago at least. We'd gone to visit her and she wanted me to pick something out at the store, simply because she wanted to get me something I liked. Even though she was on a tight income and really didn't have much to spend. Not at all fancy, not expensive, but it's special because she thoughtfully wanted to get me a gift. Another time, my great-aunt and uncle got me a Christmas gift of a pair of heart earrings. I love heart-shaped jewelry even now. My great-aunt knew this so she picked them out for me. What she didn't know was that I already had that pair. I didn't thank them any less graciously than I would have had I not had the same ones at home. That didn't matter, what mattered was that she cared enough to know what I liked AND to get me something when she didn't have to. I kept them, too, because there was so much care and love behind them.

7. It doesn't matter if you're a great cook -- what matters is that your cooking has never killed anyone and no one went hungry

Pots burnt because the water was boiled out of them. Recipes gone wrong. Dinner that's edible but barely. Plain cooking that's good but not awesome. Did it kill anyone? Did anyone go hungry? If the answer to both is no, it's a win, pure and simple.

8. The bathroom is your sanctuary when you're a mom

Once your kids are old enough to be safe alone for awhile, or when daddy's home, go in that bathroom, lock the door, and don't come out until you absolutely have to. Consider it your office. Use nice towels so you have something pretty to admire while you sit on the toilet reading or talking on the phone (only do that with close family though, otherwise it goes from odd to freaky). If the kids look for you in the bathroom before searching you out in any other room, you're doing it right. Bonus points if one of the kids gifts you with a sign for the potty door that says "Mom's Office" for Mother's Day (an especially thoughtful gift so they've been taught right).

9. Shopping is therapy and all purchase info must be shared with your husband -- whether he wants to hear about it or not

Retail therapy is an important part of being a mom. My mom has be a practitioner of this form of therapy ever since I was tiny (probably before). She's also passed on the gift of sharing every purchase, good bargain, why you bought one item and not another, how much you paid, where all you went, and every other mundane detail of each therapy session with your husband. As soon as you get home, while unpacking and showing him every single person. In great detail. No matter how much said husband's eyes glaze over. If he's not paying attention, it's important to get his attention and start over. He must listen and look. Should he fall asleep, poke him with a hanger to wake him up, then start at the beginning.

10. Have fun together and laugh

You can probably tell by now that my mom and our family has a sense of humor. Since our family can scream at each other one minute then be laugh like hyenas the next over something crazy, we probably won't win any awards for Functional, Normal Family of the Year. We won't care, we'll be too busy laughing. As my mom always tells me, no family is really normal. Every family is screwed up in some way -- some are just better at hiding it. We might as well enjoy what we have.

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How to Live Simply

Yesterday, I talked about my new, simpler way of living that I'm calling the Little House Lifestyle from the mind-set perspective. Today, I'm sharing some of the things I've been incorporating to get into this new lifestyle. Each fits in great with these easy ways to de-stress and builds on my goals for the year.

How to Live the Little House Lifestyle

Time Outside
Nature is constant. We go outside to soak in sunshine, a soft breeze, admire the beauty in the grass, trees, sky and flowers -- the same people have for thousands of years. Being outdoors grounds us and connects us to those simple times. It's time with ourselves and those we're with rather than embroiled in society. Step back, step out and step into nature. Nothing says Little House Lifestyle more than going with your family on a hike, walk in the woods, play time at the park, time in the backyard playing, sitting on the porch with your favorite drink, just being. We're working on redoing our yard so it looks pretty -- and so I finally have a porch swing -- so we'll have that beautiful outdoor haven I crave to enjoy being outside more.

Free activities
Take advantage of events and activities in your area that encourage family time rather than spending.

Family Time
Make time to put down electronic devises, turn off the TV and spend time together. Dinners, games, reading, time outside -- whatever you enjoy. Family is the heart of your life so keep it healthy by building memories and relationships.

Bake Fresh
Bake a yummy treat. Fresh, homemade cookies and bread can be calming to make. When the littles pitch in, it creates a memory. Plus, the house smells amazing and you have something yummy to eat.

Quality vs. Quantity
A closet stuffed with clothes, shoes and purses doesn't equal happiness. It's much better to have a few things that you love and take care of rather than tons of items you never wear that put stress on your finances. Before buying something new, I ask yourself if I really need it. If I don't, I skip it. I've shopping in my own closet for items I forgot about. Get a hole in a shirt? Sew it rather than buying a new one. Lately I've spent time going through closets, dressers and chests to clean out anything worn out beyond repair or that we just don't wear. Not having things you don't use helps keep your life simpler because you're not having to deal with it. Less clothes means less laundry to put away, too! If you do need new clothes, check out thrift stores or ask family and friends if there's anything they're tossing that you might like. Here are some great ways to save on kids' clothes.

Keep Food Simple
Rather than buying a ton of processed foods, going broke on fancy items you don't really need or eating out all the time, focus on cooking from scratch (the slow cooker is your friend), trimming the budget in favor of foods that are healthy and filling, and being frugal with your spending. This is great for your waist line and health, too.

Exercise
Get moving! Our ancestors didn't sit around all day, they were moving around, walking, farming, getting the blood flowing. A walk, lifting weights at home, doing a work out video, hiking, using home equipment, trying out yoga --whatever you like, find it and do it.

Garden
I can't think about a Little House Lifestyle without thinking of gardening. What is more basic than growing your own food? Flowers count, too. Planting a veggie garden helps you keep food at it's simplest, gets you outside and gets you exercising. You get more time to enjoy nature, too, getting out and getting dirty. Flowers lift your mood and give you a boost of nature, too. If you don't have room for a garden, pots work great, too. I'm working on turning part of our front  garden beds into a potted garden this spring.

Clean Up and Clean Out
We all have those areas of the house where we cram things to deal with later. Out of sight, out of mind...until we open a door and some errant, crammed in bag/bottle/knicknack/doodad/book/whatever practically knocks us out as it careen toward our head. Then there's all the stuff we liked when we got it, but isn't really something we like anymore, taking up space around the house. I've been going through everything cleaning up and cleaning out lately. Rather than having a ton of decorations around the house, I'm simplifying. There's less for the kids to dump, less to break and less to clean. All the trouble spots are getting emptied out. Keep, donate or trash piles abound. Why let junk weigh us down? If you don't love it, toss it!

Plan Your Day and Schedule
In order to keep life on track way back when, women planned their days out. They figured out what needed to be done and did it. I do the same. I figure out what needs to be done for the month, week and day, then plan it all out. Of course, since life is crazy and never goes according to plan, I'm always readjusting. Ma Ingalls did too, I'm sure. (Who plans for tons of rain to wipe out the crops so you spend a week salvaging what you can rather than cleaning?) I've also got laundry, cleaning, errand and cooking schedules that keep life on track and going smoothly. So simple, yet so helpful to keep me from feeling overwhelmed and out of control.

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Living a Simple, Happy Life

The longer we live in the country, the more I realize the benefits of living life simply. The newest purses, clothes and jewelry no longer bring the same excitement. Having fancy decorations and technology doesn't leave me jealous of those who have them. Instead, I appreciate what I have more, delight in a good bargain, make things I have last longer and focus on the simple things that make me happy. 

Little House Lifestyle

The Little House Lifestyle is what I'm calling this new lifestyle, which is really based on a whole new way of thinking. Imagine Little House on the Prairie here: A slower pace, enjoying life, relishing in the beauty around us, spending time with loved ones and living a life building memories rather than regrets. Living contentedly rather than wanting.

It's far to easy to fall into the trap of "someday." After XYZ happens, then I'll be happy. After I do ABC, I'll be happy. Striving for someday and missing out on what is happening now. Little House living is about living life for what is is rather than what it may be someday. Plan for the future and have goals, of course, but don't miss out on what you have now.

Let's face it, no one lies on their death bed wishing they'd gotten that awesome new cell phone, car or clothes. What haunts us in the end is not having enjoyed the simple parts of our days that matter most. 

Go Against the Grain to Find Happiness

Living simply goes against what society tells us we should want. We're supposed to love shopping, stuffing our closets, redecorating our homes every few years, buying the latest-and-greatest gadget. If something breaks, toss it and buy new. If close rip, throw them out, too. Rather than being grateful for and making the best of what we do have, we're supposed to desire what others have. We're always comparing how we look, what we have, what we do with others rather than being our own person. None of it gives us what we crave though --- to be happy and content. We're too busy focusing on what we don't have, how we don't measure up instead of recognizing the happiness right there in front of us. Being happy and content is about living for now, rather than what may come. It's the Little House Lifestyle.

Bank Account Bonus

A by-product of living simply is that you can live on less money. Needing less money means less stress and fights about money. Not spending as much allows you to build up that emergency fund you've been meaning to, or that has been looking a little slim. Or, you can save up for an experience the whole family is going to remember, a big purchase for the house (a garden you've been meaning to put in, a patio swing to enjoy your yard). All things you'll appreciate more than things that are likely to be forgotten, taking up space and making clutter in a few months. Win-win situation!

Now that you've read about the Little House Lifestyle from the mindset angle, check out tomorrow's post to find out what I've  been doing to actually implement this lifestyle.

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The First Visit from the Tooth Fairy

When thinking about what the tooth fairy will do, many parents think there is plenty of time to figure it out. We thought the girls were going to at least be in first grade before we had to worry about it. Little did we know, a new big-kid adventure awaited us sooner than we thought when J came to show me she had a loose tooth already!

Since she is only 5 years old, I freaked out inside a little bit. Outwardly I was all excited for her saying what a big girl she is getting to be. The minute she stepped out of the room I was on the phone calling the dentist to find out if it's normal. My fears were calmed when I was told it's completely normal for kids to start losing their baby teeth at 5 years old. Now truly excited, we had to inform Daddy who was at work, who had the same fears as I did until I said I already called. Then time to let Grama, Memere and Aunties know.

All J wanted was to tell one of her Aunties to have her big cousin call when she gets home from school. A call to her other Auntie lead J to run from the room terrified about someone wanting to tie a string around her tooth then to a door knob so they could slam the door to pull her tooth out. An hour later J comes running back going "I have two loose tooths!"

I checked and found out she was right! Two teeth right next to each other were loose. Where has the time gone I was wrapping my head around one now two? Onto the internet I went to figure out ideas for what to have the tooth fairy do/ bring for this special occasion. When I looked up to see J walking past with an apple I realized I should probably figure this out NOW.

C and I talked and decided for the first lost tooth we should do something special. After a lot of deliberating and mind changing we decided on something useful but "cool." A purple Frozen electric toothbrush that's a special present, gets her to brush her teeth more and a fitting gift from the Tooth Fairy. I also found a Berenstein Bears Tooth Fairy book  that I knew she would really enjoy.

Three weeks and two days later J said her loose tooth hurt. I checked and was so loose it could go almost flat. Tried a paper towel pull, she wiggled it front to back and side to side. C tried to tie a string around it for J to pull but the string wouldn't stay. J tried biting into an apple and she started crying that it hurt and it was bleeding steadily. I grabbed a paper towel and out it came!

She was ecstatic to have the tooth fairy visit. J asked if we can open her window to let the fairy in, so at bedtime we'll crack it and the tooth fairy will close it behind her. J was so excited for Mama to take a pic of her with her tooth fairy presents. By the time I got to take a picture she lost another tooth!

I can't believe my big girl lost two teeth and H just got her first one! The funny thing is J's first lost tooth tooth is the same location of H's first. As J says "it's the circle of life."

About the Author
Laurie is a stay-at-home mom to two little girls -- a baby and a 5-year-old -- and is stepmom to a 5-year-old daughter. Living in New England, she has a big Australian Sheepdog along with the kids and her husband. She enjoys music, decorating cakes and Doctor Who.

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The Truth About Breastfeeding, Part 3: Separation Anxiety and Adding Solids

In case you missed them, read part one and part two of the series by guest-poster Laurie to catch up.

They say you can never spoil a baby. But what if baby gets so hooked on one person they don't want anyone else? I've created a Baby Beast, as we affectionately call H now. Because I didn't have a job to return to she got Mama all day every day. It seemed just so much easier to only nurse and skip the bottle. It meant one less thing to clean - especially since our dishwasher is me.

Until C started a new job recently he was working weird hours at work sometimes 8-4 other days 11-7, some days he didn't even have a clue when he would be home. So H got used to be home with Mama and J. It was Mama feeding, Mama changing the diapers, Mama providing amusement and consoling. C tried to help when he was home but the weird hours were getting to him and H wanted one person only.

Even visits to see family would lead to tears if I wasn't the one holding her. And if we tried to have the rare babysitter -- oh, it was horrible. Maximum amount of time for happiness was 90 minutes then her fury came. She hated the bottle, if you got her in the first 90 minutes she would take it only if H thought she was the one holding it.

At H's 4 month appointment her doctor said she'll grow out of it eventually and that she's seen worse cases. We were told to keep trying the bottle, surprise surprise it didn't work. On the upside though she was reaching or surpassing the expected milestones. We also got a new activity to try - solids.

American Academy of Pediatrics recommends waiting until 6 months to introduce solids. When it comes to introducing solids to your baby there are different options. Like us many parents choose to start with a baby cereal such as rice or oatmeal then later give purées. With purées you can either make your own or buy jars pre-made. There is also baby led weaning. With baby-led weaning (BLW) you introduce little finger foods that baby can to themselves. A lot of parents that choose BLW wait until a minimum of 6 months if not longer.

A popular first food for with this method is avocado. Other then being only 4 months she showed signs of being ready. She would watch us eat and mimic chewing motions. H also had very good neck control - a must for a solid eating baby. With H's doctor's approval we began introducing baby oatmeal mixed with breast milk. Our hope was the cereal in her belly would help ease her reflux. If it wasn't for that we would have waited a bit long to introduce.

We began with a tablespoon once per day and slowly increased over a month. H's reflux seemed to be improving with less spit up. We tried introducing the bottle and H didn't want anything to do with it. Only successful time she took a bottle no issue was one time I gave it to her. She threw a fit if C or anyone else tried.

Other then the bottle hating, feeding-wise everything was going well. H enjoyed her morning oatmeal and was still nursing like a champ. At 5 months old her doctor gave approval to introduce purées. Again, we began with a tablespoon or so once a day. It was in addition to her breakfast of oatmeal. We started with the stage one purées since they were smoother. The ones H wasn't fond of from being too runny we added a little oatmeal to thicken.

Now, H is 7 months old and doing great with her solids. Going by her pediatrician's recommendation we're doing three meals a day. Morning is a jar of fruit purée with oatmeal mixed in for breakfast or half a cup of baby yogurt with probiotics. The yogurt we only do twice a week. Lunch is half a jar of purée veggie mixed with half a jar of meat purée with a little bit of multigrain cereal to even out the texture. Dinner is the same as lunch. It's important to follow your baby's lead for when they're full. H rarely eats a full jar usually about 2/3 or 3/4.

We've given up on getting her to take a bottle. I had asked H's pediatrician about trying a sippy cup instead. So a couple weeks ago we purchased a Munchkin Latch sippy cup. The reviews I read on Amazon showed a lot of babies have success taking the sippy when they wouldn't take a bottle before. SUCCESS! She loves to use her sippy cup. I have just been putting about 2 ounces in it at a time so it's not too heavy for her to lift. H hasn't figured it out completely yet but she likes trying!

Thanks for following along on my journey! As H continues to grow I will share the next leg of the adventure.

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About the Author
Laurie is a stay-at-home mom to two little girls -- a baby and a 5-year-old -- and is stepmom to a 5-year-old daughter. Living in New England, she has a big Australian Sheepdog along with the kids and her husband. She enjoys music, decorating cakes and Doctor Who.

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Life Balance, Simplified

Sex and the City has been playing on my Kindle often lately. It's 25 minutes of pure entertainment and voyeurism into the lives of four New York City women -- so not at all like my own life, yet I keep finding parallels that get me thinking. Which led to an epiphany in my quest for life balance this year.

Even if we live out in the country and no where near the city (let alone single or having crazy sex in said city), we somehow relate to Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha. Why? Because we're all like those four women at heart. There's our creative, stylish side, our ladylike, well-mannered side, our sexy, daring side and our professional, career-minded side. Those women are us. And like those women, we're all searching for something in our lives. Some of us are at that point of seeking out the awesome career. The perfect relationship for us. The child we want badly. The job we love and kick butt at. The fun night that is all about us.

Where we are in our lives changes the search and ourselves. We go from the career and marriage to having kids that become our worlds. Our search becomes one for balance between being mom and wife and our jobs (whether it be in an office, working from home or working in the home). We struggle to find ourselves in the ultimate search of who we are in that messy unbalanced life. Our lives are crazy and messy, always changing. Whenever balance is almost in our grasp, something else shows up as easily as Big in his sleek town car to change our lives again. We're in constant struggle to find the perfect balance between life and ourselves. Yet, life is never as neat and orderly as Charlotte's well-appointed apartment.

So what's that mean for us? Are we going to always been searching for that balance, chasing our tails, just to never find it? I don't think so. It means that we need to find balance in the moment of our lives we're experiencing now. Sometimes, we'll need to focus on our creative side, other times our careers or relationships.

At the center is ourselves, though. We need to be sure we don't get shoved to the side or lose who we are or we'll always be out of balance in our lives because ourselves will hanging on desperately to the merry-go-round rather than operating the controls.

And when life throws us a man in a town car just as our current life is going great? We need to be flexibly agile to keep our metaphorical high-heeled Louboutin's from sticking into the sidewalk grate and tripping us up. All we can do is stay up on those heels, find the balance that's best in moment of our lives, and keep walking. A glass of wine every now and then doesn't hurt, either.

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My Word of the Year

I've seen this everywhere lately: People picking a word of the year. It's kind of like setting goals, though this would be the overarching goal and theme for the entire year. What is it that sums up all the goals, where you want to be at the end of the year and what the year is going to be all about?

We were talking about this in my wonderful stay-at-home moms' group recently. It got me to thinking what my word of the year should be. It didn't take me long. With all I'm working toward, the answer was clear. Transformation.

I want to transform myself and my life in many ways this year. As you read, you'll probably notice something that I did while writing it -- everything fits together and really does form a bigger picture. That lets me know I really did choose the right word!

Transforming my body
It's no secret that I'm working on losing weight this year. My goal is to lose at least 52 pounds this year. I'm simply not comfortable with my weight and am determined to change it for the better. I've been setting two-week goals for myself to help me get that weight off.

Transforming my health
This goes hand in hand with transforming my body. Losing the weight helps with my health. Eating healthier foods, drinking more water, incorporating more movement and exercise into my life, and focusing on my health all goes along with that. I'm dividing body and health transformation into two because it's just that important and that big of a change. You can also lose weight, yet still be unhealthy, or even just gain it all back because it wasn't a total life style change. Neither of those are something I want! I'm going for the whole package.

Transforming my inner self
I am the type of person who worries and stresses to much. I strive for perfection in everything. Even simple things, like which milk to get at the store. I want to be sure it's the right choice, the best thing I can do. As you can imagine, this leads to more inner turmoil than is good for a person. I'm working on letting go of all this. Inner peace is going to be found this year. Expect to see more about this, from what I go through to how I plan to change it, at some point. I haven't quite gotten all my thoughts together yet, when I do I'll share.

Transforming my blog
You may have already noticed a few changes around here. New banner, new tabs, some changes to the layout and follow buttons, small things like that. There are so many things I've been meaning to do that I haven't gotten around to. Slowly, I'm ticking them off the list one by one.

I've also got big plans for what I want to write, how often I post and improving content to give you what you want to read. I want to bring a balance of types of posts to the blog to give you the whole stay-at-home-mom life overview.

Behind-the-scenes things to bring in more much-needed income are also in the works. I'm even thinking about writing a book. The blog is my job and how I make my income so that's always a part of the bigger picture.

Transforming my life balance
Going hand-in-hand with transforming the blog is finding life balance. I often feel that I'm putting too much time into the blog when I should be doing more with the kids or keeping up with the house. Or, that I'm spending too much time with the kids but not enough with A or on my own. It's all about balance and I need to transform my life to find that balance between all the roles I play. (More on balance is coming up soon.)

Transforming my daily life
To transform my life balance, I need to transform my daily life as well to get everything aligned. I want to get on a cleaning schedule, have more activities with the kids, stick to meal planning, not be as attached to social media and electronics, clearing out household items I don't need and organizing so the days run smoother, and other things along those lines.

Transforming my finances
So much has changed in our lives financially over the past year. Using my usual budget, I want to get all the finances in even better order. New ways to save, not spending as much on material goods, focusing on what matters in life and the experiences vs the "stuff."


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The Truth About Breastfeeding, Part 2: Reflux and Life Changes

Breastfeeding a newborn can be challenging, annoying, frustrating, exhausting but oh so rewarding. The many many middle of the night feedings that your significant other can't help with can drive you crazy. The sore cracked nipples doesn't help or the third time you leaked your nursing tank that morning.

Guest poster Laurie is back with the second part of this series. If you missed the first installment, The Journey Begins, you can read it here.

After I was home and getting settled in with a new baby added to the mix breastfeeding for me came easy. Granted I was always tired from the middle of the night feedings my husband couldn't help with but it was rewarding. It also meant no bottles to clean or formula to mix and less to worry about remembering to pack in the diaper bag.


At the time I was planning to return to work when H was just shy of 8-weeks old, so once my breast pump arrived it was time to stockpile. I was lucky and received a pump through my insurance at no cost. It was exhausting to nurse on demand all day long then pump right before I went to bed and as soon as I woke up. H initially slept through the night for about a month but those days are long gone.

While prepping a stash to return to work we introduced a bottle. I loved the Playtex Ventaire ones with J so decided to use them again with H. She took it easily and would go back to nursing no issue. Due to my fear of her preferring the bottle to breast we only did it a couple times a week. One day my sister-in-law watched H for a few hours and had no issue taking a bottle.

When H was at that nearly 8-week-old mark of me returning to work something happened. I had it all arranged my husband, C, was going to drop off J and H with his sister before he went to work since I went in so early. Got up really early pumped, nursed H got her back to sleep and headed off to work. I arrived only to be told, "Oh, you were laid off back in July with all the other contracted employees." Gee, thanks for telling me this months ago! I lost composure and started crying it was too much between leaving H for the first long time. Turns out it was the agency I was employed through who never bothered to notify me -- never working with them again.

Later that month, we discovered H had reflux. It was horrible hearing her cry from the pain. When it started I had no clue what was going on. Just after her 2-month appointment H began cluster feeding for 2 days straight driving me crazy. She had always spit up but I thought she was one of those "happy spitters" but now the amount was increasing. I was wondering if it was my fault like if my supply tanked and never realized it. H went to the doctor to find out what was going on. Since the spit up was causing her pain she was prescribed Zantac and a week later a dose of Prevacid was added due to continued pain. I felt horrible for her but at least my supply was still there and could continue my breastfeeding journey. Sometimes babies with reflux can't be breastfed and have to go on special broken-down formulas.

After that was taken care of a new hurdle to try to overcome was about to hit us. I wasn't working now so we stopped regularly giving H a bottle and only nursed. It created the Baby Monster giving mama no break.

Part 3: Separation Anxiety and Adding Solids (Coming Feb. 22)

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About the Author
Laurie is a stay-at-home mom to two little girls -- a baby and a 5-year-old -- and is stepmom to a 5-year-old daughter. Living in New England, she has a big Australian Sheepdog along with the kids and her husband. She enjoys music, decorating cakes and Doctor Who.

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5 Romantic (and Frugal) Valentine's Day Dates for Parents

Valentine's Day is almost here! The day that brightens up the cold winter with some heart-warming romance and affection.

As parents, going out to celebrate becomes even more complicated with the need for a babysitter. For us, that isn't even an option since there are only a very few people we can trust to watch M2, let alone M2 AND B. Not to mention the cost, which is hard to cover when finances are tight.

I've come up with 5 romantic, easy-to-do dates that let you spend some special Valentine's Day time with your other half, without breaking the bank or going nutty looking for a sitter. These ideas are crazy simple, perfect for after the kids are in bed, and can even be mixed and matched to suit your preferences. We're doing #1 ourselves this year. Happy Valentine's Day!

Pizza and a Movie

If you've got the budget for it, splurge on a pizza, rent a movie from the Redbox and hit the couch to enjoy a few slices and cuddle time. For those who really feel adventurous (or don't have the funds), head to the kitchen with your honey to make a pizza together. Homemade crusts are easy to whip up, especially when you have a partner helping you out. Borrowing a movie from the library, picking one from Hulu/Amazon/Netflix or watching one you already have in your collection is another option. 

Chinese and Games

Pick a few yummy dishes from your favorite Chinese. Remember the egg rolls and some soup! Set up the boxes on the table so you can share. Add some candles and some chopsticks to feed each other for added romance. Once you're done, pick out a a few board games for a game-night marathon. If you're feeling frisky, strip poker can be entertaining. Or, if you're more of the video game type, hook up the system. Winner doesn't have to make dinner the next night.

Homemade Dinner and Music

Head to the kitchen to whip up your Valentine's favorite dinner. Have some chocolates on hand for dessert, along with a bottle of wine. Put on some love songs while you dine, along with dimming the lights and lighting a few tapers. After the food is gone, enjoy the chocolates and another glass of wine while snuggling on the couch. Talk and enjoy the music while you watch candlelight flicker on the walls.

Dessert and Coloring

Pick up your and your love's favorite desserts, or bake them yourself. Arrange the goodies on a pretty plate or tray with some paper heart cut outs to get the Valentine's vibe going. Get out your favorite coloring book, hand hubby a page, spread out the colored pencils so you can share, then color while you nosh on the yummy treats. (This 72-color box of pencils is my favorite to use along with this artist-quality 48 pack. My favorite books are The Secret Garden and The Enchanted Forrest. They are so neat!) Diffusing some oils can add to the relaxing, calming atmosphere you're building together.

Wine and Reading

Stick a couple bottles of white wine in the fridge the night before or set out some red. On Valentine's Day, pop the cork, get out your fanciest wine glasses and sip the night away with your sweetie and a good book on the couch. If you're in a Nicholas Sparks-inspired mood, read passages to each other or take turns reading some poems aloud. If you need some poetry inspiration, Shakespeare's Sonnet 29 and Sonnet 19, Byron's She Walks in Beauty, and Michael Arnold's Longing are some of my favorites. The level of romantic is totally adjustable depending on your tastes.

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