Making Marriage Work When You Have a Special-Needs Child

Marriage isn't easy, especially when you have kids. When you also have a special-needs child, the challenges pile up. Does that mean we're doomed to end up divorced (as I've been told many times by various people) just because M2 is autistic?

I don't think so. I think it means that both of us need to work harder to make sure our marriage last. In the end, the marriage ends up stronger and we end up closer because of what we've overcome -- Together.

Making Big Decisions and Managing Details

The honest truth of it is that when you have a special-needs kid, there's added stress in your life and in your marriage. From the very start when you realize there may be an issue, you face additional struggles than you normally would trying decide what's best for your child. There are just so many more unknowns and things TO decide.

That makes being on the same page as your spouse harder. A and I make big decisions together, like whether or not M2 needed to do speech therapy and when to start, if she should be evaluated for autism, if we should get an aide and what next steps to take. I handle the details, such as figuring out where to get therapy, how to get her evaluated, fighting red tape, and figuring out what the possible next steps even are.

I check in with A to let him know what's going on. His opinion is important so I ask what he thinks as as we go. I'm the one who is home with the kids, so took on detail management by default. Plus, otherwise, I'd be driving A nuts with questions, getting in the way. I need to be in control of the situation, while A is  able to step back and let me handle things without going nuts.

I've found that when you've  both wrapped up in the minutia, there's much more of a chance to butt heads, disagree, get even more confused and get more frustrated with the situation -- and each other. When one person is leading, you're both on board and the other person is offering support, things tend to go more smoothly.

Saying Good-Bye to Time Alone

The time alone that you fight to get once kids are in the picture becomes even more impossible when one of your children is special needs. We can't just leave M2 and B with any babysitter to go out for the evening -- or even an hour. Two people who are very familiar with our situation need to be on hand for babysitting duty.

The blunt truth is that there are only two sets of people whom we trust to leave alone with the kids. (Or is it people we'd trust the kids to be alone with? Hmm.) Neither set lives remotely close to us (we're talking states away here). That leaves us grabbing time out alone about twice a year for a few hours. The rest of the time, we have to get creative. To make our marriage work, we've accepted this is how it is. We make the best of the situation since there's nothing we can do about it. The time we do get is even more special because it is so rare. We appreciate it even more.

Frustration and Communication

Having kids exacerbates usual marriage issues. Little things grate on your nerves much more when you've spent the day with fussy, screaming kids who won't listen or are having a sensory meltdown. Small problems seem so much bigger when you're battling to get your child what she needs at the same time. Big problems can seem impossible. More problems creep in to make you stumble when your child is special needs.

As much as we try not to, A and I end up taking our frustrations out on each other at times. Both of us hate confrontation so have a habit of avoiding issues rather than addressing them. Communication can help with this. We're working on it so that we can clear things up before the frustrations with each other or the kids get out of control, leading to a fight. I always  try to step back and see the situation from A's point of view and to let him know how I'm feeling when everything is building up so that the small problems don't become huge ones we can't overcome. We're not where we need to be yet, but we're getting there. What we are good at is making and sticking to choices we feel are best, no matter what others may say. We make a good team.

The Long and Short of It

What making marriage work when you have a special-needs child comes down to this: A commitment and love for each other to make life work, to do what you need to do to make it happen, and to get through the bad times so you can enjoy the good. The struggles make the good all that much sweeter. Focus on the good, get over the bad, and keep on living your lives together.

If you liked this post, please click the Top Mommy Blogs button below, then the big orange button that comes up to vote for me. Thanks!

This post is part of the March Marriage Challenge. Check out my posts from earlier this month (Marriage: The Changes 5 Years Bring) and last year (How to Keep Your Marriage on Point), then stop by The Eyes of a Boy to read more post about marriage from other bloggers.

5 Romantic (and Frugal) Valentine's Day Dates for Parents

Valentine's Day is almost here! The day that brightens up the cold winter with some heart-warming romance and affection.

As parents, going out to celebrate becomes even more complicated with the need for a babysitter. For us, that isn't even an option since there are only a very few people we can trust to watch M2, let alone M2 AND B. Not to mention the cost, which is hard to cover when finances are tight.

I've come up with 5 romantic, easy-to-do dates that let you spend some special Valentine's Day time with your other half, without breaking the bank or going nutty looking for a sitter. These ideas are crazy simple, perfect for after the kids are in bed, and can even be mixed and matched to suit your preferences. We're doing #1 ourselves this year. Happy Valentine's Day!

Pizza and a Movie

If you've got the budget for it, splurge on a pizza, rent a movie from the Redbox and hit the couch to enjoy a few slices and cuddle time. For those who really feel adventurous (or don't have the funds), head to the kitchen with your honey to make a pizza together. Homemade crusts are easy to whip up, especially when you have a partner helping you out. Borrowing a movie from the library, picking one from Hulu/Amazon/Netflix or watching one you already have in your collection is another option. 

Chinese and Games

Pick a few yummy dishes from your favorite Chinese. Remember the egg rolls and some soup! Set up the boxes on the table so you can share. Add some candles and some chopsticks to feed each other for added romance. Once you're done, pick out a a few board games for a game-night marathon. If you're feeling frisky, strip poker can be entertaining. Or, if you're more of the video game type, hook up the system. Winner doesn't have to make dinner the next night.

Homemade Dinner and Music

Head to the kitchen to whip up your Valentine's favorite dinner. Have some chocolates on hand for dessert, along with a bottle of wine. Put on some love songs while you dine, along with dimming the lights and lighting a few tapers. After the food is gone, enjoy the chocolates and another glass of wine while snuggling on the couch. Talk and enjoy the music while you watch candlelight flicker on the walls.

Dessert and Coloring

Pick up your and your love's favorite desserts, or bake them yourself. Arrange the goodies on a pretty plate or tray with some paper heart cut outs to get the Valentine's vibe going. Get out your favorite coloring book, hand hubby a page, spread out the colored pencils so you can share, then color while you nosh on the yummy treats. (This 72-color box of pencils is my favorite to use along with this artist-quality 48 pack. My favorite books are The Secret Garden and The Enchanted Forrest. They are so neat!) Diffusing some oils can add to the relaxing, calming atmosphere you're building together.

Wine and Reading

Stick a couple bottles of white wine in the fridge the night before or set out some red. On Valentine's Day, pop the cork, get out your fanciest wine glasses and sip the night away with your sweetie and a good book on the couch. If you're in a Nicholas Sparks-inspired mood, read passages to each other or take turns reading some poems aloud. If you need some poetry inspiration, Shakespeare's Sonnet 29 and Sonnet 19, Byron's She Walks in Beauty, and Michael Arnold's Longing are some of my favorites. The level of romantic is totally adjustable depending on your tastes.

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Marriage: The Changes 5 Years Bring

A and I are celebrating five years of marriage this month. Looking back, I am amazed at how much our lives have changed in that relatively short time. We've been through pretty much every life-changing event at least once since we got married.

We started out the life changes with our wedding at an old inn up in the mountains of Virginia. The autumn colors are beautiful there. The ceremony was outdoors overlooking water and all the gorgeous colors. Originally, we were thinking of getting married in May. That changed once we both realized that time of year is already hot and we both aren't fans of the heat. The only thing that had been keeping us from getting married in the fall was that we thought it would be too soon. We had also yet to find a wedding location that had all the charm, history, uniqueness and beauty we wanted.

I stumbled upon the venue while searching online and found that they would do most of the work for us. All we'd need to do is tell them what we like, help make some choices, test out cakes, pick a caterer, figure out special touches, and they'd take it from there. There was even an entire bed and breakfast for us, our officiant and our parents (on another floor!) to stay at for the weekend. How could we pass that up?! I've always adored historic locations and wanted an outdoor wedding with the reception indoors, so it was perfect!

Both A and I have the same favorite colors, purple and blue, so our color scheme was deep blue and purple to match up with fall. Hearts completed our theme. A water fountain provided added backdrop for the ceremony. Roaring fireplaces warded off the chill during the reception. Tons of music was incorporated for the whole day. If there was an opportunity to work in a song, I took it. And the cake was amazing! Our day was small and intimate with about 30 guests. Neither of us wanted something huge.

The next morning, we had a delicious breakfast back at the venue with family and close friends. After, we took off to finally have some time alone to relax after all the craziness that is a wedding. We honeymooned in a log cabin with a hot tub out in the middle of nature, toured wineries, spent a few more days at an old bed and breakfast buried in the woods, toured historic places, sat together by the fire, and just enjoyed our time together.

Two years later, after a long time of trying, M2 joined us. Life change number two! Her eventual autism spectrum disorder is another life change we're still coming to grips with. After she was born, we decided that we needed to make big changes in our lives. Where we were living no longer made us happy. The major metro area was sucking the life out of us with the cost of living, crowds, stress, jobs whose commute gave us little choice of where to live because they were so far apart, crazy traffic and stressful lifestyle. With all those combined, I realized I'd have little time to spend with M2 or even A as our work schedules didn't match up. M2 would rarely have her whole family together. We'd also be spending almost all my salary on daycare and living in a townhouse we hated. For us, it wasn't worth it.

Moving across the state and moving farther north were both considered. In the end, we came to the conclusion that the way to go was moving across the state to be out in the country where life was slower, the skies were open, views were majestic, traffic was less insane, crowds weren't boxing us in, we'd be able to own a home, M2 would have a yard to play in and we'd have plenty of family time.

The move led to the next major life change -- my career. I went from an office job as a writer and editor with a health care company to working for myself. Having the flexibility to set my own schedule and work around my life, rather than having my life around work, has been amazing. It's meant I get to see my children grow up and don't feel like I'm missing out on what's important in life.

That takes us to another life change -- Baby 2 joined our family almost a year ago. Seeing him grow has been amazing. He is so different from M2. Growing up, I had a sister and no brothers so my experience with boys is limited. I'm learning fast with this guy and loving every minute of it! He is an amazing little guy.

All of these changes have been stressful for us and for our marriage. Life changes have a habit of being like that. Not all the changes were happy ones, though. Almost a year before Baby B was born, we lost A's mom on Christmas. She was diagnosed with cancer just before Thanksgiving. Neither of us expected to lose her so quickly. Baby B is named in her honor. M2 likely won't remember her, but at least we have pictures of her with A's mom that she'll be able to see when she's older. This year, A's job changed unexpectedly which has created stress and uncertainty in other ways.

What all these changes have shown me the past five years of marriage is that you never truly know where life will take you. My life isn't the same as I'd imagined it'd be five years ago when I first took my wedding vows. Life and marriage won't always be easy. It won't always be fun. Both will give you great memories and experiences, if you allow it to happen. As any couple does, especially with so many major life events happening in a few years, we've had our ups and downs. No person or marriage is perfect. We've stuck together though, worked through the downs and enjoyed the ups. Marriage isn't about a fairy tale wedding. Heck, it's not a fairy tale at all. It's the day-to-day, year-to-year, everyday life and commitment to each other that makes a marriage what it is. I'm glad that A and I started this life together up in the mountains as the crisp fall air was around us and the trees showered down red, gold and brown leaves onto the lake glistening in front of us.

Through everything, I've learned how important it is to have someone you can count on taking this ride with you. Having someone else by your side makes all those ups and down easier and more enjoyable. It makes life richer. The future brighter and more exciting. I'm looking forward to many more years together, memories to create and anniversaries to celebrate.

If you enjoyed this post, please vote for me by clicking the pink Top Mommy Blogs button below, then the big orange button that comes up on the next page to cast the vote. Thank you!

This post was featured in the March Marriage Challenge. Check out all the other posts from other awesome bloggers.

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Marriage: The Changes 5 Years Bring

A and I are celebrating five years of marriage this month. Looking back, I am amazed at how much our lives have changed in that relatively short time. We've been through pretty much every life-changing event at least once since we got married.

We started out the life changes with our wedding at an old inn up in the mountains of Virginia. The autumn colors are beautiful there. The ceremony was outdoors overlooking water and all the gorgeous colors. Originally, we were thinking of getting married in May. That changed once we both realized that time of year is already hot and we both aren't fans of the heat. The only thing that had been keeping us from getting married in the fall was that we thought it would be too soon. We had also yet to find a wedding location that had all the charm, history, uniqueness and beauty we wanted.

I stumbled upon the venue while searching online and found that they would do most of the work for us. All we'd need to do is tell them what we like, help make some choices, test out cakes, pick a caterer, figure out special touches, and they'd take it from there. There was even an entire bed and breakfast for us, our officiant and our parents (on another floor!) to stay at for the weekend. How could we pass that up?! I've always adored historic locations and wanted an outdoor wedding with the reception indoors, so it was perfect!

Both A and I have the same favorite colors, purple and blue, so our color scheme was deep blue and purple to match up with fall. Hearts completed our theme. A water fountain provided added backdrop for the ceremony. Roaring fireplaces warded off the chill during the reception. Tons of music was incorporated for the whole day. If there was an opportunity to work in a song, I took it. And the cake was amazing! Our day was small and intimate with about 30 guests. Neither of us wanted something huge.

The next morning, we had a delicious breakfast back at the venue with family and close friends. After, we took off to finally have some time alone to relax after all the craziness that is a wedding. We honeymooned in a log cabin with a hot tub out in the middle of nature, toured wineries, spent a few more days at an old bed and breakfast buried in the woods, toured historic places, sat together by the fire, and just enjoyed our time together.

Two years later, after a long time of trying, M2 joined us. Life change number two! Her eventual autism spectrum disorder is another life change we're still coming to grips with. After she was born, we decided that we needed to make big changes in our lives. Where we were living no longer made us happy. The major metro area was sucking the life out of us with the cost of living, crowds, stress, jobs whose commute gave us little choice of where to live because they were so far apart, crazy traffic and stressful lifestyle. With all those combined, I realized I'd have little time to spend with M2 or even A as our work schedules didn't match up. M2 would rarely have her whole family together. We'd also be spending almost all my salary on daycare and living in a townhouse we hated. For us, it wasn't worth it.

Moving across the state and moving farther north were both considered. In the end, we came to the conclusion that the way to go was moving across the state to be out in the country where life was slower, the skies were open, views were majestic, traffic was less insane, crowds weren't boxing us in, we'd be able to own a home, M2 would have a yard to play in and we'd have plenty of family time.

The move led to the next major life change -- my career. I went from an office job as a writer and editor with a health care company to working for myself. Having the flexibility to set my own schedule and work around my life, rather than having my life around work, has been amazing. It's meant I get to see my children grow up and don't feel like I'm missing out on what's important in life.

That takes us to another life change -- Baby 2 joined our family almost a year ago. Seeing him grow has been amazing. He is so different from M2. Growing up, I had a sister and no brothers so my experience with boys is limited. I'm learning fast with this guy and loving every minute of it! He is an amazing little guy.

All of these changes have been stressful for us and for our marriage. Life changes have a habit of being like that. Not all the changes were happy ones, though. Almost a year before Baby B was born, we lost A's mom on Christmas. She was diagnosed with cancer just before Thanksgiving. Neither of us expected to lose her so quickly. Baby B is named in her honor. M2 likely won't remember her, but at least we have pictures of her with A's mom that she'll be able to see when she's older. This year, A's job changed unexpectedly which has created stress and uncertainty in other ways.

What all these changes have shown me the past five years of marriage is that you never truly know where life will take you. My life isn't the same as I'd imagined it'd be five years ago when I first took my wedding vows. Life and marriage won't always be easy. It won't always be fun. Both will give you great memories and experiences, if you allow it to happen. As any couple does, especially with so many major life events happening in a few years, we've had our ups and downs. No person or marriage is perfect. We've stuck together though, worked through the downs and enjoyed the ups. Marriage isn't about a fairy tale wedding. Heck, it's not a fairy tale at all. It's the day-to-day, year-to-year, everyday life and commitment to each other that makes a marriage what it is. I'm glad that A and I started this life together up in the mountains as the crisp fall air was around us and the trees showered down red, gold and brown leaves onto the lake glistening in front of us.

Through everything, I've learned how important it is to have someone you can count on taking this ride with you. Having someone else by your side makes all those ups and down easier and more enjoyable. It makes life richer. The future brighter and more exciting. I'm looking forward to many more years together, memories to create and anniversaries to celebrate.

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Attacking a Divorcing Mom

Recently I read something that drove me up the wall. A syndicated radio personality and his wife, a SAHM, are getting divorced. I've followed her for years because she's a fellow mom blogger. Apparently, he spilled quite the load of info on the radio that he probably shouldn't have. It lead to his wife being trashed across social media. People attacked her not even knowing her side. Left right and center, Instagram, his Facebook, her Facebook, you name it, she was getting slammed. One of the common themes was, "How dare she leave with HIS kids? How dare she take HIS money? This was obviously premeditated!" A healthy dose of, "You cold-hearted bitch," and "You monster!" was splashed around as well. Like watching American Idol or the Kardashians, it was a train wreck of epic proportions I just couldn't yank myself from reading. And I just got more pissed as I did.

When it comes to a SAHM leaving her husband, it's even more difficult. SAHMs don't have a source of income other than her husband's. All SAHMs work, and work hard, too. We just don't get paid for it and often don't even get recognized for it. When it comes to leaving her husband, a SAHM may have to take THEIR money as she won't have any income. Especially if it's a situation where she can't trust her husband to not cute her off. She's doing what she needs to for herself and her kids.

Why the hell wouldn't a mom take HER kids with her if she is leaving her spouse? Yes, they're the spouses kids as well and the kids should see their dad (under most circumstances) but why should the mom leave her kids behind? That can be, and really is, abandonment. Especially when it's a SAHM who is the primary care giver and there won't even be anyone to take care of the kids while the spouse is at work. Telling a mom if she leaves her husband she should leave her kids is down right cray.

I should sure as heck hope that leaving your spouse, whether for a separation or divorce, is premeditated. I don't think any sane person would make that choice lightly and just up one day and walk out. There's going to be thought behind it. Hopefully, planning, too. Especially when there are kids involved.

The mom being dragged through the mud kept it classy, simply posting that she wasn't going to comment on the details on Facebook. She's right there. No separation or divorce should play out on social media with a whole he-said-she-said-you-bitch-you-asshole debacle for all to read and judge. There's no reason to get all Real Housewives about it. Even if all your friends and family are secretly entertained, keeping a fresh bowl of popcorn handy for the next round.

No one ever knows what all exactly goes on in a marriage except the two people in it. Each has their own views, too, so even then you won't get the same story. Marriages are complicated. All relationships are. Marriages aren't easy, either. Like anything in life, there are ups and downs. Sometimes, one or both partners reaches a breaking point and decides a break, either temporary or permanent, is needed. That's never an easy choice to make. No one needs to be trashed over doing what they think is best for them, and in the case of moms, for her kids. Especially not publicly. 





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How to Keep Your Marriage on Point

In over four years of marriage with A, I've learned much (and am still learning). I've recently come to the conclusion that marriage is like a triangle.

No, not a love triangle. A support triangle. Seriously, follow me here a moment. You are in one bottom corner. Your partner is in the other. You each have your own corner, yet are connected and supporting each other to form a solid foundation. Your marriage is at the top with both of you supporting it. If you don't make sure you're solid in your corner, supporting your spouse and doing your part for your marriage, and he/she isn't doing the same, the top of the triangle -- your marriage -- crashes down.

The triangle is a very basic, watered down way to show how support works in marriage. Much more can't be put into a simple graphic. For starters, the triangle can't show you that sometimes, you need to put in more effort to support your spouse. And sometimes, they need to put more effort into supporting you. Each of us go through our own difficult times. For me, having B was a difficult adjustment. Healing also took time. During that, A had to be more supportive of me. When his mother died just over a year ago, the roles were reversed. He needed more support at that time. Christmas is a hard season for both of us, so both of us need extra support then.

When life is on an even keel, the support is more about balancing the give and take relationships need. Daily communication, saying good bye in the morning before work, asking about each other's days, taking turns to help out with the kids--it all counts and matters. I try to support A by having good, relatively healthy meals planned and prepared with extras for his lunch. He supports me by giving me a break at least one night a week and doing the cooking. I take care of the kids, keep the house running, paying bills, doing errands--the usual stay-at-home mom stuff, while he supports us by going to a job outside the home. On his days off, he lets me sleep in when possible since that is something that really helps me for so many reasons. He takes out the trash, I dust. All those simple little things may not seem like they matter, but they do. Each and every one supports each other and by default our marriage.

Just as important as supporting your spouse, you need to support yourself. Keep yourself solid and strong in your corner of the triangle so you can provide the stability your part requires. That means taking breaks at times for some "me" time. Have your own work, hobbies, and interests that are just yours, yet add to your marriage because you have something new to bring to the table. I have this blog and being a stay-at-home mom as my work, while A has his own job. I love reading chick lit books, while A loves sci-fi and fantasy novels. I'm a history geek, he loves math. Supporting yourself also means growing. Be open to feedback from your spouse so you can improve yourself. Don't just stay set in your ways, try something new. I tend to voice my frustrations of the day as soon as A gets home. It drives A nuts. I've realized that and try to be better about it. A tends to put things off, which drives me nuts. I know he tries to improve on that. There are many little examples like these. When you live with someone, for the rest of your lives to boot, things crop up that drive the other nuts. Taking your spouse's feedback into account and working to better yourself goes a long way to support your marriage. Change doesn't happen overnight, keep with it. You'll start seeing results.

Bumps in marriage do happen. Life is difficult and throws curve balls. That's when the triangle of support is even more important. You need to work extra hard to keep the solid foundation and to keep your marriage from slipping. Of course, there times occur when it does slip. For us, moving was very stressful. We needed to find a house in a short amount of time and couldn't even look together due to crazy schedules. M2 was tiny, making things even rougher. A few times, we argued about--you guessed it--one of use not offering enough support to the other. We talked it out and both walked away with ways we could improve ourselves, thus better supporting the other. The key is to continue being there for your spouse, no matter how hard things are, and for them to do the same. As long as you have that, you can face any obstacles -- together, forming a strong foundation for your marriage.

I wrote this article as part of a 31 Day Marriage Challenge collaboration, co-hosted by Melissa Ann of The Eyes of a Boy and Carrie of Huppie Mama. Follow along with the challenge for many more inspiring articles on how to create or enhance an awesome marriage.

How to Keep Your Marriage on Point

In over four years of marriage with A, I've learned much (and am still learning). I've recently come to the conclusion that marriage is like a triangle.

No, not a love triangle. A support triangle. Seriously, follow me here a moment. You are in one bottom corner. Your partner is in the other. You each have your own corner, yet are connected and supporting each other to form a solid foundation. Your marriage is at the top with both of you supporting it. If you don't make sure you're solid in your corner, supporting your spouse and doing your part for your marriage, and he/she isn't doing the same, the top of the triangle -- your marriage -- crashes down.

The triangle is a very basic, watered down way to show how support works in marriage. Much more can't be put into a simple graphic. For starters, the triangle can't show you that sometimes, you need to put in more effort to support your spouse. And sometimes, they need to put more effort into supporting you. Each of us go through our own difficult times. For me, having B was a difficult adjustment. Healing also took time. During that, A had to be more supportive of me. When his mother died just over a year ago, the roles were reversed. He needed more support at that time. Christmas is a hard season for both of us, so both of us need extra support then.

When life is on an even keel, the support is more about balancing the give and take relationships need. Daily communication, saying good bye in the morning before work, asking about each other's days, taking turns to help out with the kids--it all counts and matters. I try to support A by having good, relatively healthy meals planned and prepared with extras for his lunch. He supports me by giving me a break at least one night a week and doing the cooking. I take care of the kids, keep the house running, paying bills, doing errands--the usual stay-at-home mom stuff, while he supports us by going to a job outside the home. On his days off, he lets me sleep in when possible since that is something that really helps me for so many reasons. He takes out the trash, I dust. All those simple little things may not seem like they matter, but they do. Each and every one supports each other and by default our marriage.

Just as important as supporting your spouse, you need to support yourself. Keep yourself solid and strong in your corner of the triangle so you can provide the stability your part requires. That means taking breaks at times for some "me" time. Have your own work, hobbies, and interests that are just yours, yet add to your marriage because you have something new to bring to the table. I have this blog and being a stay-at-home mom as my work, while A has his own job. I love reading chick lit books, while A loves sci-fi and fantasy novels. I'm a history geek, he loves math. Supporting yourself also means growing. Be open to feedback from your spouse so you can improve yourself. Don't just stay set in your ways, try something new. I tend to voice my frustrations of the day as soon as A gets home. It drives A nuts. I've realized that and try to be better about it. A tends to put things off, which drives me nuts. I know he tries to improve on that. There are many little examples like these. When you live with someone, for the rest of your lives to boot, things crop up that drive the other nuts. Taking your spouse's feedback into account and working to better yourself goes a long way to support your marriage. Change doesn't happen overnight, keep with it. You'll start seeing results.

Bumps in marriage do happen. Life is difficult and throws curve balls. That's when the triangle of support is even more important. You need to work extra hard to keep the solid foundation and to keep your marriage from slipping. Of course, there times occur when it does slip. For us, moving was very stressful. We needed to find a house in a short amount of time and couldn't even look together due to crazy schedules. M2 was tiny, making things even rougher. A few times, we argued about--you guessed it--one of use not offering enough support to the other. We talked it out and both walked away with ways we could improve ourselves, thus better supporting the other. The key is to continue being there for your spouse, no matter how hard things are, and for them to do the same. As long as you have that, you can face any obstacles -- together, forming a strong foundation for your marriage.

I wrote this article as part of a 31 Day Marriage Challenge collaboration, co-hosted by Melissa Ann of The Eyes of a Boy and Carrie of Huppie Mama. Follow along with the challenge for many more inspiring articles on how to create or enhance an awesome marriage.