The Journey with Autism Begins

Through sharing our story and being honest and open, I hope it may help someone else going through similar. In light of that, I want to share more of M2's, and our, story. Starting with the day she was diagnosed as autistic and our journey officially began.

As I mentioned here, she was diagnosed with autism, mild-moderate, just over a month ago. That day was one of the most difficult of my life. We went in for baby B's well-child appointment the day before and took M2 along. While we were there, I told the doctor (they have the same pediatrician) that I'd talked to her early-intervention therapy team. All of them recommended that she get screened for autism, especially the therapist she's known the longest and who knows her the best. I was fully prepared to have to argue with the doctor about the screening, then to have to fight with insurance to get the referral pushed through. When the doctor agreed immediately, I was shocked. When he said that there was an available appointment the next morning if I was willing to drive the hour back out to do it, I was dumbfounded. Rather than waiting another month or more for an appointment, I jumped at the one for the next morning. I figured I should before I chickened out and put it off again, as I'd already done for months fearing what we'd be told.

The developmental pediatrician wanted to see all her assessments from the early-intervention team as that would give him a better picture of what all is going on with her. Those therapists see her weekly in our home so they get a pretty good picture, one a doctor who has never met her might not. I quickly called her coordinator to get her assessments, figuring at 4 p.m. there was no way we'd get them. Amazingly, her coordinator was there and sent them over via email immediately.

A and I decided that taking B along with us to the appointment would just be distracting from M2. Instead, he stayed home with B the next morning while I drove M2 the hour back to her developmental pediatrician appointment. I spend the most time with her and have been coordinating her care, so it just made the most sense for me to take her. At the appointment, the doctor got to see the full M2 as she was bouncing off the walls and doing many of the things we were concerned about. She did not sit still for 30 seconds the entire appointment.

I managed to answer all the doctor's questions while keeping M2 from running out of the place. We spent hours there going over everything. I wasn't sure if we'd get a diagnosis that day. I already knew from A's coworker going through the process with his son that if the doctor had any questions or doubts, there would need to be more appointments, possibly with additional specialists. The developmental pediatrician told me that he had seen enough, plus with her previous evaluations, that he was confident in making a diagnosis then.The moment he said, "diagnosis," I knew I wasn't going to like what he said next.

He said there was no question that she was autistic. As soon as I heard that, my stomach dropped and my heart broke. I started telling him things like, "But sometimes she's fine. This isn't all the time!" and, "But she does XYZ." Anything and everything I said, the doctor simply responded nicely with, "That just proves my diagnosis and that I'm right even more. That's exactly what autism is. There is no way you could be making all this up or have it wrong, it's too obvious."

I wanted to cry at that point. Mind you, I am not a crier at. all. Here my happy little girl is bouncing (literally) all over the room and off the walls, as a doctor tells me she is autistic. A diagnosis that changes her life and ours. Something that won't go away, can't be treated with a pill, and that she will struggle with her entire life.

I asked the doctor where he'd place her on the spectrum. He said that it wasn't too important, it was more important to get her set up with therapy and get her help, but that he'd place her as mild-moderate. As for B, he said he is at a higher risk but that I should already be seeing some signs. The signs B is showing us so far are ones that tipped us off to the fact that something is going on with M2. He's totally different from her so far. Things M2 did as a baby that we excused as being just her, something she'd grow out of (but didn't) or just her showing her independence were really red flags. There were so many that we didn't see until we saw how B is and until M2's behavior started making the autism too obvious to ignore. Still, especially after his head injury soon after birth, we worry that he will have special needs as well.

I spent the rest of the appointment trying not to cry in front of this doctor, and especially not in front of M2. How do you act after a doctor tells you that about your child? If I cried, I'd look hysterical and upset M2. If I acted like I didn't care, I'd seem like an inattentive, uncaring mother. If I acted happy, I'd seem like a nut job. No emotion seemed "right" and I had no idea what to say or do. I went with the "upbeat, we can handle this" attitude, even though I was wondering how in the world we'd make it through and how in the world M2 would over come it.

The doctor explained that we needed to get her set up with therapy and that he'd be sending an overview of his diagnosis. He went over why he'd made the diagnosis, pointing out things that I'd never even noticed or equated with autism. Or even any issue. I think if M2 had been the second child and I'd had more experience with what's "normal," I would have noticed more.

After the doctor ended the appointment, a nurse came in and offered to wheel M2 around the center in a wheelchair while I waited for her pediatrician to come in and talk to me. I so appreciated having a few minutes alone. Hearing that your child has autism is difficult. Very, very difficult. I know that it could be so much worse. But that doesn't take away the hurt of what she and we are going through and will go through. No parent wants to know their child is going to struggle. Right now, we don't even know how much. We don't know when or if she'll really start talking. Speech therapy isn't working. Her delay stems from the autism and so far no techniques are working. She also has sensory, behavior and other issues. We have no idea what is to come.

M2's pediatrician came in and told me that he agreed with the diagnosis. The nurse came back with M2, who was ecstatic that she got to go for a ride. She had absolutely no idea what had been going on or how much had just changed in the instant I'd been told she is autistic. Seeing her so happy and so unaware ripped my heart out even more. She has no idea what is to come in her life or that anything is even wrong. I guess in some ways, that's really a blessing that she doesn't know.

The ride home I called A and spent trying not to cry while driving. I'm happy to have a diagnosis and to know it's not all in my head. On the other hand, I'd really have liked to be told, "Lady, your nuts. Stop doing XYZ and your child will be perfectly fine. Just get your act together." Despite that, and despite the doctor telling me that there's no way I could be making stuff up (and that I did an amazing job handling her during the appointment, he was impressed how well I managed to do so), I still wonder if maybe I'd said or done something differently, he wouldn't have given that diagnosis. It's hard not to second guess everything and to wonder.

Since the diagnosis, I've gotten lots of comments and advice. Some downright upsetting, nasty and unsupportive from people from whom I actually expected the most support. Some way off base as the person simply doesn't understand autism or is a family member who also doesn't want her to struggle. Others very, very helpful. Our family and closest friends are offering the support they can. As you read here, one of M2's godmothers is on the spectrum herself. Her reply when being told of the diagnosis was, "Well, I guess she's really lucky to have me as god mom!" And she is. I know Lindsey is going to help her so much through her journey. None of her family or friends are treating her any differently. Family who initially questioned the diagnosis are on board and supporting her once I explained what was going on better. Her uncle asked me why we'd never told him what was going on sooner, when she was a baby, so he would have known and been able to maybe do something. I told him it was because we honestly didn't even realize it ourselves. I think deep down we wondered, but didn't want it to be true.

We still don't want it to be true. I still hope we'll find out in the future that the doctor was wrong. Daily, though, I see why he's right. I also remind myself often of the best, most supportive, and helpful thing I've been told since she was diagnosed as autistic. As soon as we found out, I told her therapists who'd been waiting to hear. One told me, "Remember, she's still the same awesome little girl who you love so much. Having the diagnosis doesn't change her at all. And it doesn't change how much you love her." And she's right. My little girl is freaking amazing.

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The Journey with Autism Begins

Through sharing our story and being honest and open, I hope it may help someone else going through similar. In light of that, I want to share more of M2's, and our, story. Starting with the day she was diagnosed as autistic and our journey officially began.

As I mentioned here, she was diagnosed with autism, mild-moderate, just over a month ago. That day was one of the most difficult of my life. We went in for baby B's well-child appointment the day before and took M2 along. While we were there, I told the doctor (they have the same pediatrician) that I'd talked to her early-intervention therapy team. All of them recommended that she get screened for autism, especially the therapist she's known the longest and who knows her the best. I was fully prepared to have to argue with the doctor about the screening, then to have to fight with insurance to get the referral pushed through. When the doctor agreed immediately, I was shocked. When he said that there was an available appointment the next morning if I was willing to drive the hour back out to do it, I was dumbfounded. Rather than waiting another month or more for an appointment, I jumped at the one for the next morning. I figured I should before I chickened out and put it off again, as I'd already done for months fearing what we'd be told.

The developmental pediatrician wanted to see all her assessments from the early-intervention team as that would give him a better picture of what all is going on with her. Those therapists see her weekly in our home so they get a pretty good picture, one a doctor who has never met her might not. I quickly called her coordinator to get her assessments, figuring at 4 p.m. there was no way we'd get them. Amazingly, her coordinator was there and sent them over via email immediately.

A and I decided that taking B along with us to the appointment would just be distracting from M2. Instead, he stayed home with B the next morning while I drove M2 the hour back to her developmental pediatrician appointment. I spend the most time with her and have been coordinating her care, so it just made the most sense for me to take her. At the appointment, the doctor got to see the full M2 as she was bouncing off the walls and doing many of the things we were concerned about. She did not sit still for 30 seconds the entire appointment.

I managed to answer all the doctor's questions while keeping M2 from running out of the place. We spent hours there going over everything. I wasn't sure if we'd get a diagnosis that day. I already knew from A's coworker going through the process with his son that if the doctor had any questions or doubts, there would need to be more appointments, possibly with additional specialists. The developmental pediatrician told me that he had seen enough, plus with her previous evaluations, that he was confident in making a diagnosis then.The moment he said, "diagnosis," I knew I wasn't going to like what he said next.

He said there was no question that she was autistic. As soon as I heard that, my stomach dropped and my heart broke. I started telling him things like, "But sometimes she's fine. This isn't all the time!" and, "But she does XYZ." Anything and everything I said, the doctor simply responded nicely with, "That just proves my diagnosis and that I'm right even more. That's exactly what autism is. There is no way you could be making all this up or have it wrong, it's too obvious."

I wanted to cry at that point. Mind you, I am not a crier at. all. Here my happy little girl is bouncing (literally) all over the room and off the walls, as a doctor tells me she is autistic. A diagnosis that changes her life and ours. Something that won't go away, can't be treated with a pill, and that she will struggle with her entire life.

I asked the doctor where he'd place her on the spectrum. He said that it wasn't too important, it was more important to get her set up with therapy and get her help, but that he'd place her as mild-moderate. As for B, he said he is at a higher risk but that I should already be seeing some signs. The signs B is showing us so far are ones that tipped us off to the fact that something is going on with M2. He's totally different from her so far. Things M2 did as a baby that we excused as being just her, something she'd grow out of (but didn't) or just her showing her independence were really red flags. There were so many that we didn't see until we saw how B is and until M2's behavior started making the autism too obvious to ignore. Still, especially after his head injury soon after birth, we worry that he will have special needs as well.

I spent the rest of the appointment trying not to cry in front of this doctor, and especially not in front of M2. How do you act after a doctor tells you that about your child? If I cried, I'd look hysterical and upset M2. If I acted like I didn't care, I'd seem like an inattentive, uncaring mother. If I acted happy, I'd seem like a nut job. No emotion seemed "right" and I had no idea what to say or do. I went with the "upbeat, we can handle this" attitude, even though I was wondering how in the world we'd make it through and how in the world M2 would over come it.

The doctor explained that we needed to get her set up with therapy and that he'd be sending an overview of his diagnosis. He went over why he'd made the diagnosis, pointing out things that I'd never even noticed or equated with autism. Or even any issue. I think if M2 had been the second child and I'd had more experience with what's "normal," I would have noticed more.

After the doctor ended the appointment, a nurse came in and offered to wheel M2 around the center in a wheelchair while I waited for her pediatrician to come in and talk to me. I so appreciated having a few minutes alone. Hearing that your child has autism is difficult. Very, very difficult. I know that it could be so much worse. But that doesn't take away the hurt of what she and we are going through and will go through. No parent wants to know their child is going to struggle. Right now, we don't even know how much. We don't know when or if she'll really start talking. Speech therapy isn't working. Her delay stems from the autism and so far no techniques are working. She also has sensory, behavior and other issues. We have no idea what is to come.

M2's pediatrician came in and told me that he agreed with the diagnosis. The nurse came back with M2, who was ecstatic that she got to go for a ride. She had absolutely no idea what had been going on or how much had just changed in the instant I'd been told she is autistic. Seeing her so happy and so unaware ripped my heart out even more. She has no idea what is to come in her life or that anything is even wrong. I guess in some ways, that's really a blessing that she doesn't know.

The ride home I called A and spent trying not to cry while driving. I'm happy to have a diagnosis and to know it's not all in my head. On the other hand, I'd really have liked to be told, "Lady, your nuts. Stop doing XYZ and your child will be perfectly fine. Just get your act together." Despite that, and despite the doctor telling me that there's no way I could be making stuff up (and that I did an amazing job handling her during the appointment, he was impressed how well I managed to do so), I still wonder if maybe I'd said or done something differently, he wouldn't have given that diagnosis. It's hard not to second guess everything and to wonder.

Since the diagnosis, I've gotten lots of comments and advice. Some downright upsetting, nasty and unsupportive from people from whom I actually expected the most support. Some way off base as the person simply doesn't understand autism or is a family member who also doesn't want her to struggle. Others very, very helpful. Our family and closest friends are offering the support they can. As you read here, one of M2's godmothers is on the spectrum herself. Her reply when being told of the diagnosis was, "Well, I guess she's really lucky to have me as god mom!" And she is. I know Lindsey is going to help her so much through her journey. None of her family or friends are treating her any differently. Family who initially questioned the diagnosis are on board and supporting her once I explained what was going on better. Her uncle asked me why we'd never told him what was going on sooner, when she was a baby, so he would have known and been able to maybe do something. I told him it was because we honestly didn't even realize it ourselves. I think deep down we wondered, but didn't want it to be true.

We still don't want it to be true. I still hope we'll find out in the future that the doctor was wrong. Daily, though, I see why he's right. I also remind myself often of the best, most supportive, and helpful thing I've been told since she was diagnosed as autistic. As soon as we found out, I told her therapists who'd been waiting to hear. One told me, "Remember, she's still the same awesome little girl who you love so much. Having the diagnosis doesn't change her at all. And it doesn't change how much you love her." And she's right. My little girl is freaking amazing.

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Wherein Life Throws Many Punches

The past few weeks life has changed around here. A lot. It's been one big change after another for our family. A new diagnosis for M2, a job change for A, opportunities that fell through for me and a new fence (about the only fun one on this list).

To start with, M2 got the diagnosis of mild-moderate autism. We'd been told by her current therapists that we should have her tested. At baby B's checkup, we mentioned to the doctor, who is also M2's doc, that we wanted to get her checked out per the therapists' recommendation. I was amazed when he said there was an appointment the next morning. We'd thought there would be a 6+ month wait.

I took her in for the evaluation since I'm with her most. Having A and B go along would have been more distracting as we'd have to chase B around, too. The developmental pediatrician spent over two hours evaluating her. He picked up things I'd never even realized were related to autism. Anything I said to try to convince him that maybe it's not autism just proved his point more. By the end of the appointment, he was confident in his diagnosis. While it's nice to know exactly what's going on, and that I'm not making it all up in my head, it's also difficult to be told your child is autistic. It's not something she'll just grow out of, we don't know what caused it and it's not something we can just fix. Right now, we're still looking into options for therapy and other avenues to pursue to get her help. The hope is that since she's mild-moderate, over time she'll learn to adapt and it'll seem more like quirks than big issues. Right now, the big tip off that something's going on is her speech. She just has not improved and the usual therapies haven't helped. We know now that it's because it's related to her autism, not one of the usual causes for delays. You can read more about the diagnosis and what that day was like here.

Just after this happened, we found out that A's job is giving him a large pay cut. When things are already pretty tight that's a huge blow to receive. We're still figuring out how to deal with it and what we're going to do. One route was me finding a work-from-home job that's more stable and pays more than my current blogging and freelance. I had a job pop up that I spent all of last week prepping my resume, writing samples and practicing interview techniques for. The company was moving fast so I thought it was a great sign. There were a few "huh?" moments when my contact there said things that made me wonder if she'd even read my resume, but I pushed it off. 

At the interview, I found out I was right. They'd had no intention of hiring me, they were most likely trying to reach a quota so they could hire someone they'd already selected. The interviewer was nothing short of hostile from the start. Seriously, who asks you, "What would the person who hates you MOST in the world say about you?" Umm, that I suck? Nothing good, that's for sure. After all, they hate me. The interviewer was not impressed when I tried to turn it around to be something positive. I've never had an interview like it before. I was seriously in shock the whole time with what was going on.

Ten minutes after the interview had been scheduled to end, after the office had closed, I got a form email telling me they weren't hiring me. My guess is that it was already scheduled to go out after the interview ended. It was another blow, especially since I'd worked so hard and thought I had a good shot. Now, we're back to figuring out where to go from here. There are no real answers and much of it is being based on chance and luck. That's not something I deal well with, I like to be able to work toward a goal and have backup plan. And a back up plan for the backup plan. I work hard to not end up floundering. This time, there isn't much of a choice and any route isn't going to be fun or easy. Right now, I'm going to be upping my freelance work as much as possible. (If you know of someone who needs a writer, editor or proofreader, send them my way!)

On the weight-loss front, I've been back sliding. As you can imagine, there's been a ton of stress, uncertainty and changes. Logically, I know that things could be much worse. Emotionally, it's not a great time for me. I'm an emotional eater and have been eating more than I should while all this has been going on. Not really junk food, but still more than I should and not as healthy as I should. Last week rather than losing, I gained a pound. I'm working on getting back into the portion control and healthy choices. Exercise is happening more often at least. I'm determined to get back on track and keep losing.

The one upside lately has been that our new fence for M2 has finally gone in. Since she's a runner, we haven't been able to let her play outside much. It's simply not safe without the fence. Now, she can run all over the yard and play while I'm outside with her. I'm really looking forward to spending time with her and baby B outside enjoying the warm weather.

On the blog side of life, I have some great posts planned for the coming months. There is going to be the rest of my The "Fat Kid" Tells All series to start with. I'll also be sharing more of our journey with M2 as it progresses.

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Wherein Life Throws Many Punches

The past few weeks life has changed around here. A lot. It's been one big change after another for our family. A new diagnosis for M2, a job change for A, opportunities that fell through for me and a new fence (about the only fun one on this list).

To start with, M2 got the diagnosis of mild-moderate autism. We'd been told by her current therapists that we should have her tested. At baby B's checkup, we mentioned to the doctor, who is also M2's doc, that we wanted to get her checked out per the therapists' recommendation. I was amazed when he said there was an appointment the next morning. We'd thought there would be a 6+ month wait.

I took her in for the evaluation since I'm with her most. Having A and B go along would have been more distracting as we'd have to chase B around, too. The developmental pediatrician spent over two hours evaluating her. He picked up things I'd never even realized were related to autism. Anything I said to try to convince him that maybe it's not autism just proved his point more. By the end of the appointment, he was confident in his diagnosis. While it's nice to know exactly what's going on, and that I'm not making it all up in my head, it's also difficult to be told your child is autistic. It's not something she'll just grow out of, we don't know what caused it and it's not something we can just fix. Right now, we're still looking into options for therapy and other avenues to pursue to get her help. The hope is that since she's mild-moderate, over time she'll learn to adapt and it'll seem more like quirks than big issues. Right now, the big tip off that something's going on is her speech. She just has not improved and the usual therapies haven't helped. We know now that it's because it's related to her autism, not one of the usual causes for delays. You can read more about the diagnosis and what that day was like here.

Just after this happened, we found out that A's job is giving him a large pay cut. When things are already pretty tight that's a huge blow to receive. We're still figuring out how to deal with it and what we're going to do. One route was me finding a work-from-home job that's more stable and pays more than my current blogging and freelance. I had a job pop up that I spent all of last week prepping my resume, writing samples and practicing interview techniques for. The company was moving fast so I thought it was a great sign. There were a few "huh?" moments when my contact there said things that made me wonder if she'd even read my resume, but I pushed it off. 

At the interview, I found out I was right. They'd had no intention of hiring me, they were most likely trying to reach a quota so they could hire someone they'd already selected. The interviewer was nothing short of hostile from the start. Seriously, who asks you, "What would the person who hates you MOST in the world say about you?" Umm, that I suck? Nothing good, that's for sure. After all, they hate me. The interviewer was not impressed when I tried to turn it around to be something positive. I've never had an interview like it before. I was seriously in shock the whole time with what was going on.

Ten minutes after the interview had been scheduled to end, after the office had closed, I got a form email telling me they weren't hiring me. My guess is that it was already scheduled to go out after the interview ended. It was another blow, especially since I'd worked so hard and thought I had a good shot. Now, we're back to figuring out where to go from here. There are no real answers and much of it is being based on chance and luck. That's not something I deal well with, I like to be able to work toward a goal and have backup plan. And a back up plan for the backup plan. I work hard to not end up floundering. This time, there isn't much of a choice and any route isn't going to be fun or easy. Right now, I'm going to be upping my freelance work as much as possible. (If you know of someone who needs a writer, editor or proofreader, send them my way!)

On the weight-loss front, I've been back sliding. As you can imagine, there's been a ton of stress, uncertainty and changes. Logically, I know that things could be much worse. Emotionally, it's not a great time for me. I'm an emotional eater and have been eating more than I should while all this has been going on. Not really junk food, but still more than I should and not as healthy as I should. Last week rather than losing, I gained a pound. I'm working on getting back into the portion control and healthy choices. Exercise is happening more often at least. I'm determined to get back on track and keep losing.

The one upside lately has been that our new fence for M2 has finally gone in. Since she's a runner, we haven't been able to let her play outside much. It's simply not safe without the fence. Now, she can run all over the yard and play while I'm outside with her. I'm really looking forward to spending time with her and baby B outside enjoying the warm weather.

On the blog side of life, I have some great posts planned for the coming months. There is going to be the rest of my The "Fat Kid" Tells All series to start with. I'll also be sharing more of our journey with M2 as it progresses.

Affiliate Links

Finding Appropriate Developmental Toys

Finding toys that are right for your specific child's current development can be difficult. Just because a product says it's for a certain age doesn't mean your child has hit that milestone or he/she may have even passed it. Even worse, you don't even know if the toy is any good, you only have reviews to go on, no input from professionals. I can't tell you how many toys I've tried toys that turned out to be duds with M2 and B or that just didn't fit their current development, despite what the boxes claimed.

Then I found out about Little Giants Developmental and Play Center's at home subscription service. I've never come across a company that actually has OTs test and recommend toys specifically for your child. The concept is so cool. I got to test a month's shipment for each child in exchange for my unbiased review. It's just so neat that I had to share it with you all!

Little Giants at Home says it best themselves:

Little Giants at Home (LG) is a subscription-based developmental toy program for parents and children to implement in the home. What makes Little Giants different from any other program in the market, is that it is milestone-based and the toys are personally researched and selected based on the child’s developmental stage by occupational therapists (OTs) at Little Giants physical child developmental and play center. Unlike any other national companies, members can contact these OTs at Little Giants in Madison, Mississippi to address specific concerns they may be having about their child’s development.

The boxes come with the toys packed nicely with green and purple tissue paper. The shipments includes a packet of info put together that includes developmental milestones and AAP developmental guidelines cards along with an LG newsletter with parenting tips and fun facts. Of course, there's also the option to call up and OT and discuss the next delivery. Each month the box your child gets comes with one or two toys based on his/her developmental needs. Little Giants notes that, " "The toy may not be the most popular one on the market or one full of bells and whistles, but it is what is most beneficial for that child at this stage of their development. The Box Gurus work hard at identifying the right tools to help parents keep their child on track at home."

  

Baby B's box came with toy dumbbells, a rubber duck, and a dolphin bath mit. So cute! The weights are great for him, with a mirror, rattle, clinking rings, and crunchy noise parts. They fit exactly where he is developmentally. The bath toys make tub time even more fun for him. He loves them.

M2's box came with a Melissa and Doug hammer and ball toy. It is PERFECT for her. Rather than hitting and banging other things, she can use this while also working on her motor skills. She's learning cause and effect by watching the balls fall after hammering them. 

You can tell OTs picked the toys specifically rather than someone randomly grabbing the toys because they look neat or are popular. The dumbbells and M2's toy are defiantly quality, not cheaply made.

The prices are bit high were it just the toys alone, but the real draw is that the toys are tested and picked by OTs and that you can discuss with them your child's needs. That's something you can't get anywhere else and that can be invaluable, especially if you happen to have a special needs child. Plus, the toys are well made. It's a great subscription service.

You can learn more about Little Giants and start a subscription online.


You can find our disclosure and policy here. I received this product at no cost in exchange for an unbiased review. All thoughts and opinions are my own. Your experiences may differ. 

Product Review: iCustomLabel Baby Month Stickers

I got to try the iCustomLabel baby month water color stickers for free. These stickers have great colors. I love how pretty they look and how they're not gender specific (we try to not have everything be strictly "boy" or "girl" in our house).

Three sheets come in the order, with four stickers per sheet for a total of 12 monthly stickers. I'd like them even better if the stickers were each on a separate sheet, in case you want to prop it up next to baby if they're not cooperating with you putting the sticker on him/her. Each sticker is a good size at 4 inches. Not too large for baby, but not so small that you can't see it. Rather than plain paper, the stickers are more like a very thin, filmy plastic with a nice sheen. I'm glad that they don't seem to tear too easily, as many stickers tend to do.

iCustomLabel has many other designs you can choose from, too. The selection is great, I've honestly never seen so many in one place. At $10 a set, the price is around what other baby month stickers cost.

We're looking forward to using all these for B over the next year! Here he is posing for his three month photo shoot. He loved having his picture taken.

I received this product at no cost in exchange for an unbiased review. All thoughts and opinions are my own. Your experiences may vary.

Surviving Life with a Newborn and Toddler, Part 4

We've finally reached the conclusion (for now) of this four-part series. As you go forth and enter the battle, may the odds be ever if your favor.

Read parts one, two, and three to catch up.

1. Schedule laundry. Washing, drying and folding clothes, linens and towels for a family of four threaten to outdo Mommy at every turn. Having a system, such as a hamper for each person, set day for each person's laundry to be washed and then put away and another for rags, towels and sheets work wonders. Bonus points if the system means not doing every single person's laundry weekly.

Rice and beans today or no?

2. Back up dinner. Toddlers are finicky little things. One day the chicken cacciatore may be her favorite, the next it's persona (food?) non grata. Ditto pretty much every food and recipe, other than dessert, that Mommy could possibly think up. What's Super Mom to do? Why, keep quick meals on hand to serve in a pinch, of course! Those back up chicken nuggets, peanut butter sandwiches and nitrate and nitrite free low-fat lunch meats come in handy.

3. Speedy foods for mom. There may not always be often isn't time for Mommy to eat. Just as she's about to sit down, the baby cries or the toddler screams. A cabinet and fridge with quick-to-grab-and-eat foods can save Mommy from passing out from hunger. Cheese slices or sticks, granola bars, meal bars, yogurt packets, nuts, trail mix, hummus, and other healthy, energy boosting snacks are yummy and cheap.

This is the mess when I was awake.

4. Ignore stupid comments about sleeping when baby does. When Mommy has a newborn and toddler, there is no sleeping when the baby does as the toddler would then wreck the house, Mommy would never eat, and nothing would ever get done. People who say this have obviously never experienced it, were really lucky, or had a nanny. That, or they're lying.

5. Two-Cart Errands. Shopping with two kids is hard. Especially when Mommy ends up with very little cart space between the toddler in front and baby in back in an infant seat. What's a Mommy to do? Why, take advantage on Daddy's days off to do errands. That way, Mommy can have two carts--one for kids, one for stuff. Or she can leave the kids with Daddy and go alone, or just take the toddler for some one-on-one girls' day fun.

Surviving Life with a Newborn and Toddler, Part 3

We're not done yet with our survival guide. When you're in the trenches, knowledge is power.

This is part three of a four-part series. Catch up with one and two then check out part four.

1. Make Mom time. Mommy needs time to herself. Without it she may start going crazy. Pink elephants will dance across her eyelids and monkeys will drop from the ceilings. Well, at least she'll feel that way. Even an hour of watching TV or reading a book before going to bed or during nap time can be helpful. Enlist dad to make this possible.

2. Echos of no. With a toddler, it seems like all Mommy says all day long is no. Over, and over and over again. No. No. No. The toddler is throwing food. No! She's whacking the TV. No! She's insisting on watching more TV though TV time is up. No! Toys are flying and food is being flung. No! At times, it feels like if that's the only word Mommy knows, she could still get by.

3. Stick to it. No more TV.. Only good behavior will be rewarded with a treat at the grocery store. Broccoli must be eaten or there will be no dessert. Despite all the screaming, whining and fits the kid may throw, Mommy must not give in once she's said something. Giving in only encourages the toddler to pitch a fit in order to get their way. That doesn't help anyone (and could lead to burst ear drums). Conversely, if Mommy makes a promise, it should be stuck to. It's important that a good example is set. After all, Mommy doesn't want the kids promising to clean there room and then not doing it, right?

Saving these is a priority.

4. Shop sales. With multiple kids, money saving tactics become even more important. Mommy must scout the regularly shopped stores to determine when sales take place, what a good sale is, and what a not-so-good sale at each store is. From clothes to groceries, shampoo to toilet paper, Mommy must master the ways of the sale finding money saving guru. Be one with the sales, Mommy.

Mommy doesn't want to forget any
well-child appointments.

5. Stay organized. Toys have the potential of ending up covering the entire floor. Items for the diaper bag that are forgotten can lead to disaster (formula but no bottle is pretty useless). Clothes found cheaply for the next size up do no good if they're thrown some place never to be found again. Doctor appointments, to-do items, bill due dates and activities to keep track of abound. The answer to these and other mess or loss making events? Organization! Toys need a set room and container to go in along with nightly clean up. Bins for clothes that are outgrown or not yet grown into are a lifesaver. Keep the diaper bag handy with a list of items that should always be added. Stick shoes in one place so Mommy can find both during the mad dash to the door. Have handy dry erase boards and calendars where they'll be seen to keep track of things (and let Daddy know what he should do that week around the house).

Surviving Life with a Newborn and Toddler, Part 2

When you're a mom raising two kids, you suddenly become outnumbered when you're alone with them. No more is it a one-on-one face off, if you slip up you've got two screaming, angry, crying, kids to point it out. Here are some tips to help see you through.

Don't miss parts 1, 3, and 4 of this series.

1. Sneak in cleaning and housework. One of the two kids is going to need you most of the time. Sneaking in daily chores helps keep the house liveable. Folding clothes during toddler nap time while singing to the baby, stuffing a few dishes in the dishwasher while making breakfast or a bottle, putting away toys just before bedtime each night, picking up toys in the bedrooms each time you go in and throwing laundry in the washer or dryer while the kids are distracted for a moment are all good tricks. Big sister feels special when she's helping Mommy vacuum--even though she's really just following around yanking on the cord while the baby naps. It takes extra patience and a few, "please leave the cord alone" reminders. The floor ends up free of cat fur, Kix, crayon wrapers, crumbs and that odd stuff you can't identify, though. At least for a few minutes. A few hours if you squint and ignore the pretzel crumbs she dropped in the corner during snack time after you asked her to please eat at the table and she refused.

2. Make peace with what you can't do. Despite sneaking in housework, some days things just aren't going to get done. The wonderful dinner that was planned out just might not work as the baby is crying and toddler is pitching a fit because she must have fruit snacks, now, though she's already had too many today. Keeping the house presentable --enough-- and keeping the kids fed and safe is what's most important. Mommy may need to skip her shower one day to make it happen. A kid bath time may even have to be skipped. As long as no flies are hanging around Mommy, the kids don't stink and their clothes are clean (mommy's may not be, what with the puke and poo hazards of the job) it's good enough. At least until tomorrow, when you really must shower because you do attract flies and the kids are a bit ripe, or pooped/puked themselves too much.

3. Juggle, balance and teeter. 
 There are days when things don't go smoothly. At all. The baby pooped on Mommy. The toddler covered her hair with food and is pitching a fit if you so much as breathe in the same room. The baby must be held. Constantly. Putting him down equals horrible, gut wrenching, oh-my-God-is-someone-ripping-his-head-off screams. The toddler wants another drink while the baby needs to eat again. Never mind both just had some two minutes ago. Meanwhile, Mommy has to pee as holding it for the past half hour means the clock on holding it is about up and another mess is imminent. Phone calls have to be made to solve problems with insurance/cars/take your pick. On these days, Mommy has to just do her best. Employing certain tactic while others get  pitched out the window faster than the toddler can run down the hall naked while you're begging her to please get in the tub, she is poop covered.

4. Forgive. Yourself, your kids, your husband, that idiot who cut in front of you and your screaming kids at the grocery store. No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes. Even Super Mom. Learn from the past and strive to make the future better. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Forgive and forget. (insert additional cliché inspirational "moving on and being ok with things" phrases here.) If you don't, you'll never be able to live long and prosper and the force won't be with you. (See what I did there?)

5. Realization. Mommy needs to realize all this won't last. This one is a double edged sword. Life is hard right now. Mommy sometimes wants to cry and scream along with the wee ones. She can probably throw that dinner farther across the room than the toddler and some days has to combat that desire to try. Mommy would also like to be able to shower without screaming kids and pee without an audience that's trying to open and empty all the cabinets while mom's stuck on the toilet, unable to stop the wreckage. Yet at the same time, these baby and toddler days go by so fast never to be lived again. Wanting to be held and needing Mommy's help with diapers, eating and playtime give way to wanting the car keys and then with a phone call every now and then, possibly from the other side of the country. Stories and cuddles turn into wanting space and locking doors. Take it one day at a time and remember that the most important thing is building memories to hold onto and everyone feeling loved, cared for and wanted. Because, after all, love is what started this and love is what keeps you going no matter how hard or irritating things get.

Surviving Life with a Newborn and Toddler, Part 1

There's a learning curve for everything we do in life. Having two kids, one a toddler and one a newborn, one a boy and one a girl, is no exception. Here's what I've learned so far about surviving life with a newborn and toddler. I kid you not, at times it really is about survival.

Check out parts two, three, and four.

1. Anyone who says a boy's diapers are easier to change has never done a girl's.  That, or they're just plain lying leading you astray. In theory, boys should be easier. They're not. They're really, really not. Mommy has to master the pee-pee arc dodge, learn to wipe pee off walls and become a ninja with how fast you have to wipe and slap on a new diaper. Boys have more nooks and crannies than an English muffin (or a girl) at least as babies. Mommy has to clean them all and move bits around to get all the sticky icky poo off. All before the pee-pee arc dodge and wall wiping come into play--which isn't going to always be successful, hence having to learn them. Girls dribble if Mommy doesn't get a diaper on fast enough. There's no spray. There's nothing like seeing your daughter's wide eyes as she watches you change her brother's diaper and an arc of pee shoots up high into the air. She stands pointing at the pee, amazed at how quickly you deflected it with a diaper to hit the wall, rather than her.

2. Someone is going to end up unhappy. With two kids who are still at the age where they needs lots of help, one tons of help, Mommy has to make a choice on who to help first. Neither will comprehend taking turns. He or she wants you to help them, now. If you don't, screaming, crying and possibly destruction will ensue. The problem is, it's impossible to take care of both at the exact same time. Someone is going to have to go first and that other someone is going to not like it. Most of the time, it'll be the baby who comes first which then causes the toddler to feel left out. It's heartbreaking to have to make the choice and even more heartbreaking to hear a child cry when he or she just needs mommy's help. Sometimes, it'll be Mommy that needs something immediately (like going pee before there's also a mess on the floor to clean up). That has the potential for leaving two kids unhappy.

3. One-on-one time is a must. Each kid needs to feel special and like the center of Mommy's universe they are. It's Mommy's job to make that happen by juggling schedules and activities to spend special time with each. The baby automatically gets cuddles, kisses and love as he is fed often and needs to be held much of the time. There still needs to be time where that happens without the distraction of watching a toddler at the same time. Conversely, the toddler has had Mommy all to herself for awhile now. She doesn't understand having to share Mommy. She wants all the love. Taking the time to cuddle, hug and do something fun with her without baby brother around is special for her, and for Mommy. Enjoy the special time you have with each.

4. Be flexible. Daily life, and life in general, doesn't often go how we want. For example: Bed times aren't always going to happen at the set bed time. In fact, having a range of when bedtime makes things much calmer for all involved. That way, Mommy isn't freaking out when bedtime is a half hour later because dinner had to be cleaned up off the floor and the toddler didn't want to put on jammies and brush her teeth. She much preferred to dump out more toys while being chased around and told it's bed time. Mommy feels accomplished because she met the bedtime goal. Flexibility in nap time is also helpful. If toddler and baby MUST NAP AT X TIME, COME HELL OR HIGH WATER!! it's going to be hard to fit in things like errands, events, doctor appointments and, well, life. If the kids are used to a more variable naptime, say, somewhere between 1-3 p.m., and are used to missing it every now and then, it won't be as big of a disaster when nap time doesn't happen as planned. This really goes for anything--rigid schedules will get bent. Remember science class? That hard, inflexible pencil will snap. The nice, pliable paper can be folded into something else just as beautiful, if not what you'd planned for it to be.

5. Foster sibling love. Having big sister help change diapers (read: be in the room, hand over the diaper or wipes) makes her not only feel special and included but more connected to her baby brother. Letting her put a blanket on the baby when he's in his swing or on his play mat achieves the same goal. Keeping her involved and encouraging giving baby kisses and hugs builds a bond and connection that lasts a lifetime. It's beyond priceless to see the look of total adoration big sister gives the baby and him giving her the same one in return.

Looking Ahead to 2015

A new year means new plans. New goals. New hopes. New dreams. So much new comes when the clock ticks over to midnight January 1. For me, I have a number of these for the blog, my family and myself this year.

M2 is finally old enough to start  doing more crafts. I've got a number of ideas in my head and on Pinterest I'm excited to do with her this year. Even before she was born, I was thinking of all the fun things I could do with her.

Usually, I do baking and cooking for the holidays. None of that happened last year with pregnancy and a new baby. I just wasn't up for it. My KitchenAid mixer and other fun baking gadgets, many that I've never gotten a chance to use, are torturing me with their presence, whispering, "use me! use me!" All the recipes I stock piled, from tried and true to new-and-nifty looking are on the roster for creation and sharing. Some of the baking I'll be having M2 help with. She's already showing an interest in baking.

A previous creation.

I had planned a veggie garden last spring then realized with morning sickness and pregnancy it wasn't the right time. Those plans are back. Having two kids, including a newborn, means the garden will be scaled down. Maintaining a huge one, without having experience, just doesn't seem wise. It'll go in this spring as my first attempt at putting in a garden and at growing veggies.

My budget is getting revamped after tax time to establish where we stand and figure in a fourth family member. Another year of tweaking the budget as we go is on the horizon since we've never had two kids before. Last year it changed over the first few months as we'd never had a house of our own before.

Having two kids is the biggest endeavour of the year. Learning how to raise a boy (I'm used to girls), keeping up with two kids, reaching the toddler stage, making new mom friends, finding friends for the kids, helping M2 with her speech and overall learning, keeping her active and busy, along with joining a local church to give us better roots and meet people are all current and upcoming challenges.

I'm not great at meeting new people as I'm quite shy at first and don't have the best confidence in doing it so joining a church, and joining a new mom-and-baby playgroup are more difficult for me than you'd expect. Even going to library time to meet other moms is hard--I'm not the type who can just walk up to someone and easily start a conversation. Though, oddly, in the professional world I have no problem with it. Go figure. These things are important for finding the kids friends and making my own though, so I'll be doing it.

Weight loss is a big focus of the year. I have 25 pounds of baby weight to lose (I lost about 45 so far). Before getting pregnant, I was working on losing a substational amount. Once the baby weight is off, I'm going to continue on that journey. I'm going to be looking at is as giving up extra weight as that sounds more positive and happy than having a loss.

Focusing on the positive and being more upbeat are both things on which I'm working. I'm a worrier so I tend to see all that can go wrong which can get in the way of things. So does being a perfectionist. I need to focus more on the good, rather than the things that aren't prefect. Because, let's face it, nothing in life is perfect.

The kids' clothes are organized already.

Organization is something I work on bit by bit each year. We've lived in this house for almost two years so it's overhaul time. In preparation for baby B, we cleaned out lots of stuff from the basement. Now, it needs to be organized. I've got a few organization projects on the horizon. The extra food storage already got a good clean out last week. Being able to know what we've got, what we need and that it's all easily at hand is nice. Side note: had I done it sooner, I would have known we had a solid shelf of just pasta. Should the zombie apocalypse come, we'll be eating pasta and canned veggies. Those two things alone will allow us to stay fed for quite some time.

Being a better mom is an important goal for me. I don't think I'm a bad mom, there are just things I'd like to do and be better at. For example, the finding the kids  more friends that I mentioned earlier. Family day trips are something we don't do often enough. I plan to change that. I'd also like to see the ones we do have more often. This is also part of improving myself as a person. Many little things make up these two goals.

A previous zoo trip.

Daily life is a bit rocky right now. Our schedules are still being fleshed out. I had the cooking, cleaning, child care, errands and playtime balanced pretty well previously. Getting back to that will help me be less stressed and be able to fit in some of the other plans I've mentioned. The daily activities are what we spend most of our time doing. It takes up most of our lives so I want it to be enjoyable, stress free and easy rather than hectic, disjointed and craycray. Well, at least as much as possible. As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens while we're busy making plans." I want to enjoy that life and those plans.

All of this will find its way onto the blog throughout the year. My goal here is to post more, bring in more traffic and grow as we get into our second year in a few months. The first year has gone great, better than expected in fact. It's important to me to keep that momentum going. You can expect more of the things we usually talk about with new topics thrown in to liven things up. K and I appreciate all our readers and are so happy you join us for our stay-at-home mommy adventures.

Introducing Baby2

Precious baby boy
After months of waiting, Baby2 arrived the end of November. I was induced for medical reasons so didn't have to worry about making the two hour drive to the hospital while in labor. I had really been worried about that.

Labor and delivery went smoother than with M2, lasting 21 hours instead of 41.5 and the epidural worked this time. A was at the hospital with us the whole time, including the two days we were there after. M2 stayed at home with my mom so that she was in her own house with as little change from the norm as possible. Not having mommy and daddy around when you don't understand why is hard enough, let alone if you're not in your usual environment. She was THRILLED when her new brother came home. She even gave him his blog nickname--B. Without further ado, I'd like you to meet baby B.

All about the baby B
We absolutely adore him. From his dark hair and dark grey eyes to the tip of his wee long little toes. Sweet baby B is adorable, laid back, active and already growing so fast. The boys in our family tend to be bigger and grow quickly. B is already around 12 lbs. and is over 22.5 inches long. The doctors and nurses seem surprised with how big his is, until we explain that A and I are the short ones in the family even though both taller than average! B loves his big sister already and M2 is totally in love. Every morning the first thing she does is ask for B. She is always making sure he has a blanket so he doesn't get chilly, get worried if he cries, gives him lots of hugs and kisses, and plays with him on his play mat (his favorite toy). When we go shopping, M2 has to keep checking B to make sure he's ok in the car seat. B sits and stares at her, watching her ever movement. He's already smiling and very alert (when he's awake!). The past month and a half has been crazy settling into new routines and getting used to being a family of four.

Scary Accident
B had an accident at a few weeks old. He was in the hospital for a few days and is still being watched carefully to be sure he has a full recovery. I've been fighting the insurance companies and doctors to get him the care he needs. When the focus should be entirely on B and getting him well, it's beyond frustrating to have to take so much time dealing with things that shouldn't be a problem.

B getting hurt was one of the scariest things to ever happen in my life. I can't begin to explain what it's like to have your baby hurt, not knowing if he'll be all right, rushing him to the ER then having him admitted to a children's hospital where he's hooked up to wires and having a plethora of tests done. He was too little to even be able to tell for sure if he wasn't acting normal. We were still learning what his normal was, plus babies change so fast what is normal one week may not be the next. Thankfully, he is doing okay so far. Family and friends really stepped up to help us when it happened. The hospital B was at was about 2.5 hours away, making it impossible for us to be able to both be there with him without my dad staying with M2. He drove about 7 hours and stayed for a week to take care of M2 and then help with B as well when he was discharged. A friend drove out 2 hours to watch M2 until my dad arrived while we got B on a Medivac helicopter and to the hospital. A's brother and another friend visited us at the hospital to lend support while we where there. Countless others let us know they were there if needed and offered support and advice when asked.

Everything has been very stressful (to say the least) worrying about him and taking care of all the complications on top of the usual changes that come with having a newborn. Not to mention all that comes with the holidays.

Back to normal (?)
Life is slowly starting to settle down a bit (knock on wood, especially as A just started having car trouble  and B has more doctor appointments coming up).  I'm still getting back into the grove of meal planning, taking care of the house, figuring out daily routines and schedules, etc. A's work schedule just changed this week, causing a new round of adjustments.

With all of that and the fact that we're still not getting much sleep around here and have frequent feedings, I won't be back to the blog full time yet. That'll be another month or two.